Just for laughs ;o)

[Noel]

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints (i.e., problems) submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers (marked with an S).By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident........P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.*P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.*P: Something loose in cockpitS: Something tightened in cockpit*P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.*P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descentS: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.*P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.S: Evidence removed.*P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.*P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what friction locks are for.*P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.*P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you're right.*P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search*P: Aircraft handles funny.S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.*P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.*P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.*And finally...*P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.S: Took hammer away from the midgetNoel[/indent]

Edited January 27, 2012 by Noel

[SpiritFlyer]

:(

[Den19]

Absolutely hilarious. By half way through I couldn't read because of the tears in my eyes!Den

[DannyR]

You are killing me......so funny.

[Randall]

Seen these before but they always make me laugh out loud! ("LOL" for those preferring internet slang)

[Guest Kosta]

:( B) :( B) :(

[simmerhead]

Very funny! Cracking start to the weekend. Have a good one!

[Wendall]

now that's funny...unfortunately no one in the car gets it...

[SpiritFlyer]

now that's funny...unfortunately no one in the car gets it...

Now that is even funnier!

[out]

Wasn't that originally about Qantas?BTW The Auto-land one is my favourite ever.

Edited January 27, 2012 by Rafal

[flyerboy]

Yeah I believe this one has been going around for years, but they just change the airline name!

[Ben Cap]

:(

[Tatave]

:(

[Guest jahman]

Pilot to Ramp: There's a dead deer at the end of the runway!Ramp to Pilot: Catering services notified!Cheers,- jahman.

[cmpbellsjc]

Funniest thing i've read on Avsim in a long time.