Everything was coming together so well... I made it the the employee parking lot with time to spare, and even caught the first shuttle bus to the terminal, before I sweated to death in my uniform. Do the usual sign in stuff, and chat with the gate agent, who is flustered with a disgruntled passenger. I get the paperwork I need, and down the jetway I go. Quick intro's with my FO, who has already done the walk around and started all the necessary button pushing to get the Airbus flying. Life is good, and even better with an excellent FO to fly with. No squawks with the airplane, and good weather ahead. I'm a happy captain. Until boarding starts... Almost immediately the lead FA gives me a heads up we may have an issue with a passenger. I tell him to keep me posted, and if the problem persists, we will come up with a plan to address it. 

A few minutes go by, and no word from the FA's so I figure all is good. I decided to pop in the bathroom, real quick before boarding is complete, and then I meet her.... The self appointed bathroom monitor. It turns out the lead FA and this lady have been arguing, because she refuses to let anyone other than those seated in first class, use the bathroom, including crew members. So, my quick dash to the bathroom, has now evolved into a lengthy explanation as to why crew members, including myself are allowed to use the front lavatory. Well, it turns out she finds this unacceptable, and explains that all crew should use the lavatory in coach. I politely, but firmly, explain to her that for various reasons, including safety, that won't be happening. She sits down, and I figure all is resolved, and off to the bathroom I go. Upon opening the door, there she is, insisting I clean the bathroom after use, and generally making a nuisance of herself. At this point, it's clear she is going to be a problem. I ask her to take her seat immediately, and instead she pushes past me and screams loudly that I left the lavatory filthy.

Ok, so much for an on-time departure... I have her removed from the flight, and take a 45 minute delay. I wonder if I can MEL the front lavatory for my next leg!  😎

This is one of the reasons why I like flying boxes 😛

4 minutes ago, Chris Crawford said:

This is one of the reasons why I like flying boxes 😛

 

Amen!!

Sorry about your experience, Bill!  Oh, the joys of being a "Sim Pilot"!  No idiots, other than the one sitting in my chair to deal with

Permanent...Latrine...Orderly!  I hear that's a promotion!

Permanent Latrine Orderly

What's up with the privilege these days!? For most of us normal people, I'd like to think the guy holding my life in his hands should be as comfy as possible!

 

Thanks for sharing

Edited July 29, 20196 yr by SKEWR

Wow! Great story Bill!

Also a nice reminder that the Captain is in charge of the plane, with the authority to remove people from the flight. 

I think the poor woman may have had a phobia/OCD, or a horrifying experience in an aeroplane toilet... .. or just a plain screw loose..

Great link, Bob!

Best,

Jim

Edited July 29, 20196 yr by Jim Harnes

17 minutes ago, charliearon said:

Oh, the joys of being a "Sim Pilot"!  No idiots, other than the one sitting in my chair to deal with

.. unless you fly A2A's Constellation then Betty may give you a ticking off now and again.. 😉 

11 minutes ago, HighBypass said:

Wow! Great story Bill!

Also a nice reminder that the Captain is in charge of the plane, with the authority to remove people from the flight. 

I think the poor woman may have had a phobia/OCD, or a horrifying experience in an aeroplane toilet... .. or just a plain screw loose..

Sadly, I think a screw loose. It was an easy decision to remove her from the flight, but not one I take lightly. Always better to nip these kinds of things in the bud, on the ground, than risk an issue in-flight and have to divert.

As a retired airline employee who had to deal with these morons face to face, I've decided that the quickest way to put an end to this nonsense of people misbehaving on airplanes is, somewhere on the way up to 10,000 feet pop the cabin door open and boot the offending passenger out. I'll bet everyone else settles down real quick. 😀 This stuff has been going on for a very long time and you can't always count on your manager or company to back you up. Even if you follow company policy.

21 hours ago, busdriver said:

Ok, so much for an on-time departure... I have her removed from the flight, and take a 45 minute delay. I wonder if I can MEL the front lavatory for my next leg!  😎

As an almost 30 year former airline guy, I must say this is astonishing! I've never even heard of such a preposterous demand. 

Edited July 30, 20196 yr by n4gix
REMOVED EXCESSIVE QUOTE!!! Please stop quoting the entire post you are replying to!

6 minutes ago, Les Parson said:

.... I've never even heard of such a preposterous demand. 

What? MEL'ing the front lavatory?  Sorry! 😄 

51 minutes ago, Les Parson said:

As an almost 30 year former airline guy, I must say this is astonishing! I've never even heard of such a preposterous demand. 

 

Les,

Oh the crazy stories my fiance and I could tell you! We both fly for the same airline, but she's on the 75/76 flying international as an FO. I think she has better stories than me!

-B

I smell a book in the offing........... 

 

Vic