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beat ya to it, Doc! :-)Short Final...A pilot was flying in his C-205 with his two sons, ages 4 and 6, over the mountains of Tennessee, bucking a strong headwind. He looked in the back and noticed the boys looking down in the valley below, where a train was also heading northwest, and they were barely gaining on it. Nothing was said.Four months later, the younger son, Brian, was called to kindergarten roundup, where the officious school psychologist was conducting evaluations. When Brian's turn came, the shrink said: "Brian, what color is an apple?" Brian replied: "Are you talking about the inside or the outside of the apple?" Perplexed, the shrink went on: "Well, Brian, which goes faster, a train or a plane?" Straight-faced, Brian replied: "Well, Doctor, it kind of depends on the headwinds."Smart kid.....

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Yeah, so.... :-8It's too late an hour to come up with anything witty.....

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But Scott,Eeet eeees the night just beginning and the day jus feeeenish...not late at all, gentlemens. I was giggling anyhow at your brilliant short finals. Brilliant, I say. I view it here as my duty to contravene Doc's assertion that his was funnier, nay, YOURS was funnier Scott. (whispering: Now support Doc and Luis and I in dragging an apparently ingrateful Lindy into co-SCOFF-hood. The coalition, it is building, we've nearly got the votes: be our KingMaker, Scotty-o.)go Habs,Ted:-spam1,Master of the Nearly Nonsensical Nocturnal Note.

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Oh I don't know. I just commented that a fellow was so dumb if you told him it was raining cinderblocks, he'd run outside to see....I can have snide remarks ready at any hour, on demand.Doc Bryant

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Ted:I think you and Chicago are going to hit it off just fine. You have already demonstrated the talents of a Chicago Ward heeler and Alderman. Pretty soon, you will learn how to make the deceased vote in the primaries, run offs, and any election that features a Democrat not yet indicted by the Feds.Doc Bryant

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Thanks for the compliment!I think.(freestyle-imagine your own smiley face here)Ted

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Ted:You are quite welcome. Get ready to celebrate Pulaski Day, and learn who Anton Cermak was and you will be good to go. Chicago will welcome you with open arms, and perhaps even deoderant.Doc Bryant

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Uh Doc,That's spelled 'deodorant'.Happy National Polish Independence Day (May 3rd),TedPS. Let me know if you're stopping off in the city, I'll give you a good Polish restaurant. Mmmmmm, Zurek.PPS. I couldn't resist the jab, D. I will now go hide behind Lindy's skirts. Oh wait, Lindy's not going to help me anymore, I'm dead. So much for Alderman Ted, small time operator.

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Being as you are dead, and that is a singular accomplishment for an Alderman (dying before indictment), I will have to pass this time on taking you out to dinner in Chicago. This trip through town I have enough time to eat brats with the Crash Crew at the airport.Doc Bryant

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Ungrateful, you say? (Well, actually you SAID "ingrateful" but I'll let that go.) I've already been shang hai'd (or however you spell it) by this motley crew once........it's someone else's turn now. I'm being invaded here by mice (not the computer kind either) -- one of them crawled up out of my tub drain just last night. :-erks and believe me, that's quite a sight. (Thankfully I was not IN the tub at the time. Had I been, I would have mastered the art of levitation in short order!) Anyone got any suggestions (helpful suggestions, please) as to how to get rid of these buggers? I have three birds and a mouse-killing dog, so I AM limited in what I can do. I have set out mouse poison which is being eaten, but so far I STILL have them. Polo (my dog) has killed about 30 of them over the last three months or so -- I shudder to think how many are inside the walls. And NO,...I can't get a cat.Sorry, guys.....I really wasn't going to go into detail about this, but it's early and my fingers just kept typing. If anyone does have some suggestions, please pass 'em along.But no co-SCOFF-er shall I be!! I really think Ted and Luis make the perfect team, with Doc as an alternate. (wicked, devilish grin smilie face here)-Lindy

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I am impressed! After days of almost no postings, THIS! Fantastic! You guys have come through with humor and a new spell checker all in the same thread. I stand relieved on the spell check duties.Now, if we could just resurrect Penelope and what's his name?Jerry K. ThorneEast Ridge, TN.(Down Souwth, ya heah?} ;)

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Oh no Jerry.We can leave Penelope and Cootie and the Great Impersonator right out.Doc Bryant

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Whatever you do, don't say that name. C$#ter!See Lindy? A plague of rodents -- refusal of SCOFF-hood. Coincidence? I dunno...!:-wave tedPS about mice: Sounds like it's time for a professional, but no one has the money for that. I bet Consumer Reports or something else at the local library has an idea or ten for mice problems. That's my only idea. I always just needed a mouse trap.

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Brother Maynard and those sticky pad devices work well around here.Doc Bryant

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Thanks Doc (and Ted). My dog, Polo, has certainly been doing his part, that's for sure (at least until last night).Those sticky pad things might be an idea. But while I can handle the dead mice (after Polo gets through with them), I'm not sure I could dispose of one that is still alive. Ewwww!And Ted......just so you know, the mouse invasion started long before my refusal of the SCOFF mantle. So there!-Lindy (smilie icon-less)

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Lindy:No alternate SCOFF er I shall be. Maynard is partial to the sticky pad things as he likes to deliver the coup de grace to the little grey vermin when they go tar baby mode. Although sometimes I have to do a bit of prying to get his paw off the pad...things he never considered when he was showing off his role as Sultan of Squish.A sand wedge is also very sporting against mice. Provided you don't loft them into the ceiling fan. And like the Singapore Switch, just mind the backswing and follow through....hit through the mouse....Doc Bryant :+

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>And Ted......just so you know, the mouse invasion started >long before my refusal of the SCOFF mantle. So there! YIKES ! You know what that means ? You have clairvoyant mice !Dave H.

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No wonder Lindy can't catch the little furry blighters. They are ahead of her every move. Just like that psychic on television. She must have had a down spell though, never saw the subpoenas coming at her.Do clairvoyant mice use tiny Ouija boards?Doc Bryant :+

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Clairvoyant mice...sand wedge...problem.If you work it out Lindy, you could set up a mouse :-spam1 canning operation. Let me know, I can put together your pro-formas and find you an accountant.

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LOL, I am sure Arthur Anderson has a wad of accountants lolling about the place.....And if the sand wedge presents a problem, a pitching wedge might help-a little less loft but further carry. Backspin might be an issue when you figure the appendages going willy nilly.Doc Bryant

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You guys are truly nuts!!!!Although I have to admit the "clairvoyant mice" remark was pretty cute. But they don't use Ouji Boards, Doc.... they use little tiny crystal marbles.... And if I tried a sand wedge or any other type of club (I presume you ARE referring to golf clubs here, right??), I'd end up smashing into my own leg, most likely. Little wooden mouse traps are sounding better and better. Well, the mice will have to wait.....I have to get back to work. (Now, just as long as they don't run across my keyboard, I'll be A-OK.) -Lindy

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Lindy:Do you mean to tell me your mice have Crystal Balls? :-lolAnd smashing into your leg? You are not a lefty are you? Its very simple with the short irons. I can see you or anyone having trouble with a two iron. As Lee Trevino said, "If I am in an electrical storm out on the course, I will hold up a two iron. Even God can't hit a two iron!"If you are a righty, just position the mouse in front of your left foot, and with interlocking fingers grip the shaft of the sand wedge...concentrate on the mouse, thats it, head down, rotate your shoulders, keep the elbows locked, thats it....smooooth, back you go, carry your hips right along....wind up, and thunk Mr Mouse gets lofted.....Doc Bryant :+

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Lindy, after much, much rain one season, I had a mice family decide to come in through a hole at my garage and then lay claim to the rest of the abode. Since it was my first time having to deal with mice, I went through several things. Nothing worked better for me than the old tried and true mouse trap using peanut butter as the bait. Don't use cheese, cause the little nuisances always have a skill at removing it without setting off the trap. They don't typically get the PB off before setting off the trap. Disgusting to mess with but I though it better than feeding them poison and having them die somewhere in my walls for the gift that keeps on giving. :-)Good luck, you got to get them early before those things start having offspring.

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Ah yes, the Propilot forum...the masters of spinning off-topics. :-lol

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