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Doc Bryant

Short Final for 28 April

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From those wonderful folks at Avweb......Short FinalAfter arriving in SLC we checked in with the ground controller. His radio wasn't the clearest. As we were taxiing to the ramp another aircraft asked the controller, "Has anyone else told you your communications are garbled?" Ground replied, "My wife!" Doc Bryant

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This sounds like a true story, but I have often wondered if someone makes all this up. These jokes are often too good to be true.Best regards.Luis

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Luis,Have you not heard the old saying about LIFE being stranger than fiction?Jerry K. ThorneEast Ridge, TN

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I thought it was TRUTH was stranger than fiction. Just look at the guy who was the Iraqi Press Secretary.Doc Bryant

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I have heard TRUTH also. As for Bagdad BOB and "Wag the Dog", well...Jerry K. ThorneEast Ridge, TN

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>Ground replied, "My wife!" >>Should be ............... "My wives!" :)L.Adamson ---- KSLC

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So, Larry is the one writing all these jokes. Good job, Larry, but please do more pipi and Hooters jokes (not necessarily at the same time!)Best regards.Luis

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> but please do more pipi and Hooters jokes (not necessarily at the same time!)I'd just like to note for all us lurkers that this is a quality, quality forum, this PP thingiemahowzit here, and we should be PROUD I tell ya, of the level of scatology our peerless leaders have managed to maintain! PROUD! :-8tedPS. Alright Doc, now that I've turned my profile, with fist raised and a-leaning forward, I expect you to jump in here with 40 or so whacks to straighten things out...somebody's gotta keep you in practice.

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Oh Ted....The Hot Whacks Department is handled by our tea drinking Eastern lady, Miss Lindy.I handle the "energetic materials" end of the spectrum. Miss Lindy has possession of the Singapore Switch. On occasion, as needed, I step in just to give some coaching on application technique...the follow through mostly....Just start out with your weight on the trailing foot....swing with your entire torso, elbows coming down through the swing, transfer the weight to the lead foot with the swing, that's it, smooth, think smooth as the smoke from a Honduran cigar...wrists turning up as the elbows go south.....contact.......mind the follow through...swing through the displayed buttocks.....The only other hint I did not think to pass on to Miss Lindy is that should the target move prior to impact, you did not restrain the bugger adequately. And if it moves after the wallop, "Damn fine job."Doc Bryant

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Golf was what I had in mind as well. I remember the day I played a few holes with my dear departed brother so many years ago. I realized that I had no desire to walk around in the hot sun chasing a little white ball.Now, finding nature's air-conditioning above the cloud levels in a light airplane, that is a true joy.As far as Lindy keeping things in line here, she seems to be distracted by other forums...Jerry K. ThorneEast Ridge, TN

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Brother Luis:You must be doing it wrong then. A nice fluid swing should not hurt. Perhaps some warm up exercises are in order, leg stretches, some torso twists, things like that.Then, take up the switch, with either a Western or Continental grip should you so choose over the more traditional baseball grip and swing for the cheap seats!I discontinued playing golf a few years ago when I found out that I could not estimate the proper number of beers that would enable me to play in a relaxed fashion. Too many and I played as bad as I would sober. Too few, and I wondered why on earth I was on the links.Doc Bryant

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Well said! Jerry, Luis, it took me a minute too to figure out what the subject was, but then my mind popped up out of the gutter nicely. Too bad.I have to add that I'm not suprised that Lindy is off at some other forum. Some other flight sim takes an awful awful lot of time to get working and keeping from crashing your computering. There was a post over at some other forum I read a couple days ago and couldn't keep from giggling -- 80 long long lines and written by someone who knows more acronyms and computer insides than words in Engrish. It's a beautiful sim, Larry, yes. Now that NASA has some idle computers, maybe some one can run it without glitches, worrying, or changing the rest of the computer around just to satisfy the one program...beyond infuriating, the thing makes me giggle. All the good stuff is addons anyway.Ok, rant over. Back to watching Terence and Philip cartoons.Ted

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Aptly put Ted!Bravo.And MS Train Sim has fallen into disuse on my computer. If a G4 Ti4600 video card and 512 meg of ram won't make it look good, why bother?Doc Bryant

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Perhaps all these inexpensive games are nothing but a conspiracy to get us to buy newer and more powerful (and expensive) computers on a regular basis.For my part, I refuse to take part in the upgrade rat race. With the money I save, I hope to some day buy a true adult plaything - a twin size jacuzzi. (Just trying to get us back down into the lower levels of culture that Ted decries. Since we are down here, we may as well wallow in it:Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad. Liz said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?"Sally replied, "Because I just can't get a man."Liz said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods.""Don't be so silly," Sally said. "I know that. I went in the woods because I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."Liz said, "I don't understand what you're talking about."Sally replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage.""So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked Liz.Sally said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."Best regards.Luis

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I think I can make use of that joke somewhere in my travels.Doc Bryant

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