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Jerry_K_Thorne

Number of POSTS compared to number of VIEWS...

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My day job has kept me on the road the past two weeks and thinking about other things. This is the home page on my web browser, so I see the number of VIEWS of these postings regularly.This place has the feel of an old gas station on a desert highway. Now that cars get better gas mileage, not too many stop here anymore. There seem to be a lot of them driving past our little store front. We have plenty of shade up here on the front porch, and some frosty drinks in the cooler. Y'all stop in and "set a spell" so we can get to know you!Jerry K. ThorneEast Ridge, TN

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Every day I think to myself that I should post something, like a potty joke! Too much hosing down the terraces after the peafowl have soiled it always brings out the humorous in me.But, I have not been feeling very well at all for the past few months - all that bad living has caught up with me.And I turned 50 last week or the week before - my memory fails me.Anyway, the best remedy is laughter, don't you agree?Pete walks into a store. He says to the salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper."She says, "What color?"He says, "Give me white. I'll color it myself."Best regards.Luis

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Nicely done Brother Luis...And congrats on turning 50. My younger brother also did that recently. It must be the popular thing to do.And I am at the age when my friends say, "It's nice to see you." I reply, "Well, it's better to be seen than viewed."No potty jokes here. But I do have a new dog. Brother Maynard is so tolerant in his old age. He only growls at the year old Australian Shepherd that I found roaming the parking lot at work.Doc Bryant

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Ah, yes! I turned 60 at the end of May. Being seen instead of viewed is certainly better.As for the dog adopting you, seems like it happens every time. That happened to a friend of mine. A little furry puppy was chasing its tail in the middle of the road one night and her daughter brought it home. A good bath and some flea shampoo stopped the tail-chasing routine. She grew up to be quite a beautiful dog - apparently part husky or chow-mix. She is really sweet and easy to love. Louis, keep it coming. I realize now why you seem to find the potty jokes with that garden hose, etc.Jerry K. ThorneEast Ridge, TN

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Thanks, guys, it seems that dogs are the topic, not potties. So,Q: When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?A: When the door is open!Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?A: A jet setter!Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?A: Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?A: A jet setter!Ah! I love kid jokes.As it happens, my loving doggie was a stray, a street mutt:http://forums.avsim.net/user_files/174820.jpgShe is pure love, a heart of gold! How is it possible that there should be so much good in these animals?As for our ages, I don't feel any different from when I was 18. Well, except for the aches and pains!Best regards.Luis

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Not his daughter, Jerry. I once offered to set up a date for Maynard, as I am sure that my pretty dog would love a night out on the town with one of those tall, handsome gringos. But, Doc told me that Maynard was no longer doing those things. And my dog had female problems and had an hysterectomy a year ago, so she is no longer into those things either. And to tell the truth, as age advances, even I no longer feel those same impulses! Well, not all the time, anyway!Best regards.Luis

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Attached see Brother Maynard's new playmate.Unfortunately this morning when I returned home from work, Squeek as she has been named was showing a considerable amount of blood around her head. I immediately thought the #### black labrador next door who has been fence jumping was to blame. So off we went to the vet. I must say walking in to a crowded vet's office with blood all over your clothing does get their attention. Possibly only slightly less than had I had a giraffe or hippo in tow.I was going to have Squeek neutered today. As of late this afternoon the vet surmises she either has Tick fever or has been dosed with rat poison. I can not find any of that around here, so I am hoping it's tick fever.Doc Bryant

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Who can resist the look on that face? It goes right to the bottom of my heart.Glad to hear that Maynard has a companion, and I hope that it turns out be to nothing very serious.Best regards.Luis

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Squeek is coming home from vet today. Now both she and Brother Maynard really have something in common to yap about. Both are the beneficiaries of "doggie intensive care."Doc Bryant

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Brother Luis.When I came home Friday morning, intending on taking her to the vet to get spayed, I was greeted by a horrible sight. Squeek had blood all over her head. From her quiet manner, I thought she might have been attacked by the Labrador retriever who lives next door. This dog leaps my five foot brick fence with ease and threatens me when I am in my back yard.I rushed her to the vet, who also thought upon initial examination that the blood was from a wound. Later, when prepping her for surgery, he discovered the blood source was her jaw line. There are only two things that cause gum bleeding in dogs besides injury. One is a tick borne fever, the other is poisoning.So, she was treated for both in an effort to save her life.She's now home, goofy as ever, and taking a strong antibacterial drug plus vitamin K for bleeding. It seems to be working.Now the difficulty is getting HER medicines in HER and Maynard's drugs in HIM. I hide the pills in pieces of hot dog. Squeek is more agile, and seems to like the taste of his medicine more than she likes hers. So its back to stuffing pills down each dog's throat in turn.Ahh the joy of dog ownership. But all that pales in comparison to the sight I get each morning when I get home from work, both dogs looking through the gate to witness my arrival and scrutinize me for anything that resembles a take out bag or groceries!Doc Bryant

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Undoubtedly, Jerry. I must say that I have gotten more unconditional love from these animals than from most people I have known. Sad to think that humans can be more beastly than dogs.Best regards.Luis

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And in the dog watch category,Squeek is now doing quite well. She is still taking two medicines twice daily. I have switched to giving her the meds hidden inside peanut butter. Brother Maynard gets his doggie Vioxx the same way. Then the fun begins. Since I still have some hot dogs left (the old way of giving them their pills), we play catch in the kitchen.Squeek has not learned the art of catching. Brother Maynard's skills have if anything, improved. He has shown himself quite able to catch the one nose carom shot time and time again. Squeek's only saves occur when the hotdog bounces in front of her and she is quicker on the reflexes than Maynard.I am planning a trip to Kentucky in September. I am sure my kennel will be surprised to see me unloading two dogs instead of one!Doc Bryant

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