Pilot Bits of Wisdom

[Guest Heather 636]

Some quotes that I thought you all might find interesting, educational, or just "plane" amusing. Also where I originally got my signature. There's some good ones here.Enjoy!HeatherPilot Bits of WisdomIf you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.The pilots life is founded on three things, sex, seniority, and salary in that order. Dr. Ludwig Lederer, Corp. Physician at American Airlines Never fly the "A" model of anything. Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows is concourse "D" at O'Hare. Dave Barry, there is no concourse "D" at O'hare The airport runway is the most important mainstreet of any town. Norm Crabtree, Dir of Aviation State of IL. There is no more alluring airspace in the world than the slit up a China girls dress. Ernest K. Ghan The vilest enemy of the morale of aeronautics is the scab. David Behnecke, founder of ALPA-Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you -The only time an aircraft has too much fuel on board is when it is on fire -If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible -It only takes two things to fly:--- airspeed and money -When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten -Instrument flying is when your mind gets a grip on the fact that there is vision beyond sight -To most people, the sky is the limit. To those who love aviation, the sky is home -The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement...The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time!If you have an engine failure in a twin....start the other engine.The four most useless things in aviation: Fuel you could have put on. Altitude above you. Runway behind you. A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.If you want to become wealthy, keep your first wife and your first house.Never run out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas simultaneously. It is better to be lucky... and good. "Flying the -1A is great. You get to be the first to operate a vehicle with thousands of non-redundant supercritical parts that were installed by the lowest bidder." If you crash, at least you'll be the first to arrive at the scene.You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Reliable sources report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.The best part of a multi-engine aircraft is if one fails the other will surely take you to the scene of the accident.It is possible to fly without motors, but not without knowledge and skill.

[Guest]

To see a very good listing of various quotes, wit and humor head to this site:http://www.skygod.com/They published that great little blue book on aviation sayings.Timothy