Justin Michael

It's so nice to be relying on public transportation once again. Oh MTA how I missed you

Florida Bound

People from the UK all smell the same

iPhone4 welcome to Verizon. See you in February

You call that a snow storm. Come on now.

If you flatchulate on someone's pillow, will it give them pink eye? I will be in the lab all night working on this hypothesis.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

TGIF.

Have to move an old couch out of the basement. Vodka, check. Sledgehammer, check.

Watching V. Thank god they didn't cancel the show after the first season.

Two new tires, and a round trip ticket to Florida. Perfect way to start out the new year.

It's almost summer vacation don't loose patience

Done shoveling and playing with my dog in the yard. Time to drink, its 5pm somewhere.

Holidays are always difficult in this family, but it feels so damn right to have friends on your side. Love you all.

any liquor is good liquor when it is free.

Apple Cider and Jack Daniels, amazing.

"Have you ever been completely below the slash?"

This is a Public Service Announcment brought to you by Urbania Enterprises. The movie "Love and Other Drugs" is a 80 minute porno. That is all.

Dear Sarah Palin, Do us all a favor and stay in Alaska. Thank you.

What's better than a towel man in rock paper sissor. A towel man in thumb war.

Next person I see texting while walking on the sidewalk slowing me down is going to get kicekd in the balls

Drrrroooiiiidddd

I am going to start my own railroad. Time to give the LIRR a little competition. Now I just got to think of a good name.

Serenity Now, Insanity Later

The best thing you can do when it's raining is to let it rain. Or sleep or get drunk, but who am I to judge.