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Guest R_Driscoll

New airport

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News Flash: Residents of the peaceful village of Stansted were delighted to hear today of the plans to flatten a large part of the local natural scenery and turn it into a busy international airport. Thousands turned out to the first sod-breaking ceremony, waving placards in support. One happy resident said: "Its high time something happened here to break the monotony of green fields, lush forests, quiet streams and fresh air." Joe Dozer has been appointed site construction manager, and has wasted no time getting into the job. "I expect that we will have significant progress, by, oh, say Wednesday", he said, "2010. Maybe earlier." Excited residents watched a steady stream of heavy equipment moving in. Mayor Pierce Green said that this would really make Stansted a blot on the map. "Too long have we been ignored down here." Tourists too were excited at the idea of yet another airport. "Now we'll be able to fly into Stansted and see the green fields, lush forests and quiet streams that this area is famous for," said one backpacker.323

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Rob, great news! I'm going to have to get UK now - I'm missing out on too much without it.BTW, you forgot to mention that the sole contract for all construction - runways, buildings, landscaping etc has been awarded to our friends at 'BSP'. They've done a fine job over the years building everything from aircraft through airports to forests and even AI people - what a versatile organisation! The architects are 'E Partners' and all the painting and sign work is by 'Fixmip P/L'. Incidentally, 'Makemip', the company previously used exclusively by BSP was not considered as they had fallen behind the times and could only be accessed by text files. Allegations of corruption surrounded the choice of 'Fixmip' over 'Makemip' because a senior designer for 'Fixmip' is a board member at BSP but last-minute intervention by Lord Effyou III finally clinched the deal."With such a fine and trusted team we can't go wrong" said Lord Effyou III in a speech during the ground-breaking ceremony.Local environmentalist and activist, Mr Fled has raised concerns over protecting the local 'Pixel' population however he backed down when it was revealed that all the local pixels originally came from California and had been imported to spice-up the boring local scenery, (known elswhere as 'Outterr'). In fact, rumour has it that BSP intends to import their own pixels from all over the world - we will wait and see...PS Rob, your humour is priceless - look what it's done to me... ;)Jon Point*************************(effyouthree@hotmail.com)*************************

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Parliament House, London, UK. Allegations of former embezzlement convictions against the new Stansted airport site construction manager, Mr Joe Dozer, have created an intense stir of interest in Parliament sitting today. Sir Humphrey Applecart defended his appointment of Mr Dozer, saying that in these enlightened times, "a person's past history must not be allowed to cloud our judgement". Dozer himself was reported as being upset. "These are gross untruths and total fabrications", he told the press. "And anyway, I served my time."Boxes of parts have begun arriving at the construction site. Over 175 boxed polygons labelled STD_CT were being uncrated on Monday, with a two page instruction sheet and a bottle of BSP glue. Photos below show the site before clearing, the rough outline of the airport, and then early stages of construction scaffolding. "After assembly the structures are moved to their final resting places", said Joe. "This is simple - anyone who can't move objects around scenery is like the boy who stood on the burning deck 'whence all but he had FLED'".The winner of the terminal design competition has been announced, and the prize of 100,000 pounds goes to Mr Phil Dozer of Leicester. He was not available for comment, as Ms Strictford (class 1C) informed us that rest times could on no account be interrupted.There were also growing concerns in Parliament as to whether 42 million pounds is adequate for construction. "I have no such concerns and I am most happy to be receiving 42 million", Mr Dozer replied. "Certainly that is sufficient, and I will be embarking on the first leg of the International Airport Evaluation Tour in the morning, to ensure that we achieve the highest standards for Stansted."323(writing these is taking longer than building ....)

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