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Those smartaircraft mechanicsActual entries made by mechanics in airplane repair logs:Discrepancy: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."Corrective action: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."Discrepancy: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."Corrective action: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."Problem 1: "No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid."Solution 1: "No. 2 propeller seepage normal."Problem 2: "Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage."Discrepancy: "Something loose in cockpit."Corrective action: "Something tightened in cockpit."Discrepancy: "Evidence of fluid leak on right main landing gear."Corrective action: "Evidence removed."Discrepancy: "No. 3 engine missing."Corrective action: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."Discrepancy: "DME volume unbelievably loud."Corrective action: "Volume set to more believable level."Discrepancy: Dead bugs on windshield.Corrective action: Live bugs on order.Discrepancy: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute descent.Corrective action: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.Discrepancy: IFF inoperative.Corrective action: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.Discrepancy: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.Corrective action: That's what they're there for.

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Years ago while working for Sierra Pacific one of our HP137's came in for the night with the squwak: "Pilots fast erect inop".No matter how hard I tryed, I just couldn't think up a good sign-off!HA!Dee WaldronHistoric Jetliners Group

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Seen one one time, "#4 prop missing Hamilton Standard stickers." The guy actually thought the stickers had to be on the prop.On one deployment. Just after getting word that the squadron was only going to get 24 hours off after returning home, before having to go back to work(the normal is 96 hours). We got a gripe on one of our birds that read like this: "APU makes sounds like it is tired and worn out." The sign off after a complete apu load monitor checked good was:"Aircraft has been deployment for 5 months, she has been worked hard, she is tired. Recommend 96 hour Liberty upon return home."Have also seen gripes written up like "Loose rivet on wing.":-outtahttp://publish.hometown.aol.com/p3superb/images/675-2n.jpg

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Here's some more...Discrepancy: Target radar hums.Action: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.Disc: Aircraft flies funnyAction: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be seriousDisc: Autopilot doesn'tAction: It does now.Glenn

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Those are actually quite old... They can be found in one of those aircraft comicbooks. They are quite hilarious though. :)

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