I thought this was funny. I don't know if it has been posted before; if so, sorry.P = The problem logged by the pilot.S = The solution and action recorded by the engineers. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellerslack normal seepage.P: Something loose in cockpit.S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on backorder.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what they're there for!P: IFF inoperative.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windscreen.S: Suspect you're right.P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny.S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.

Don't be sorry. Yes they are oldies, but they are still funny. :-) Tim13

I got a chuckle reading them again. :-lolCheers,Jim

I love those things, and they really do happen that way. My favorite personal one is from my earliest pre-RF4 days as a B52 Nav, when we wrote up a malfunctioning urinal (darned important piece of equipment) one night as: "Urinal leaks at all altitudes and airspeeds."

HI, This kind of reminds me of my days as a crewchief on the old KC97Gwhen one of the crewchiefs had the pleasure of doing the first turn around in the squdron and the commander was out on the line (rare) and he saw the chief making out a new form 1 ( in those days) and he closed out the old form and all the gigs with a "C/F" and the commander asked him what C/F stood for , and the chief without missinf a strock of his pencil said " CAN'T FIX"