February 28, 200323 yr I'm not a simmer, but when browsing my usuall forums at http://forum.pcformat.co.uki came across this thred and thought of all you people...enjoy:-lol> > THE MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR > > McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Info > > > > This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas > > Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. > > The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made > > the web department take it down immediately. The "IMPORTANT" note at > > the end is worth a read too.... > > > > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In > > order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to > > fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey > > questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop > > new products that best meet your needs and desires. > > > > : 1. > > : [_] Mr. > > : [_] Mrs. > > : [_] Ms. > > : [_] Miss > > : [_] Lt. > > : [_] Gen. > > : [_] Comrade > > : [_] Classified > > : [_] Other > > : First Name: ............................. > > : Initial: ......... > > : Last Name:............................... > > : Password: ........................ (max. 8 char) > > : Code Name:........................................... > > : Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........................ > > : > > : 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase? > > : [_] F-14 Tomcat > > : [_] F-15 Eagle > > : [_] F-16 Falcon > > : [_] F-117A Stealth > > : [_] Classified > > : > > : 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ......../......./...... > > : > > : 4. Serial Number:........................................ > > : > > : 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased: > > : [_] Received as gift / aid package > > : [_] Catalogue / showroom > > : [_] Independent arms broker > > : [_] Mail order > > : [_] Discount store > > : [_] Government surplus > > : [_] Classified > > : > > : 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas >product > > you have just purchased: > > : [_] Heard loud noise, looked up > > : [_] Store display > > : [_] Espionage > > : [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally > > : [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer > > : [_] Was attacked by one > > : > > : 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced > > your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product > > : [_] Style / appearance > > : [_] Speed / maneuverability > > : [_] Price / value > > : [_] Comfort / convenience > > : [_] Kickback / bribe > > : [_] Recommended by salesperson > > : [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation > > : [_] Advanced Weapons Systems > > : [_] Backroom politics > > : [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat > > : > > : 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used: > > : [_] North America > > : [_] Iraq > > : [_] Aircraft carrier > > : [_] Iraq > > : [_] Europe (Specifically Germany and close neighbor) > > : [_] Iraq > > : [_] Middle East (not Iraq) > > : [_] Iraq > > : [_] Africa > > : [_] Iraq & North Korea > > : [_] Asia / Far East > > : [_] Iraq > > : [_] Misc. Third World countries > > : [_] Iraq & North & South Korea & China > > : [_] Classified > > : [_] Iraq > > : > > : 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend > > to purchase in the near future > > : > > : [_] Color TV > > : [_] VCR > > : [_] ICBM > > : [_] Killer Satellite > > : [_] CD Player > > : [_] Air-to-Air Missiles > > : [_] Space Shuttle > > : [ ] Home Computer > > : [_] Nuclear Weapon > > : > > : 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? > > (Indicate all that apply:) > > : [_] Communist / Socialist > > : [_] Terrorist > > : [_] Crazed > > : [_] Neutral > > : [_] Democratic > > : [_] Dictatorship > > : [_] Corrupt > > : [_] Primitive / Tribal > > : > > : 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? > > : [_] Deficit spending > > : [_] Cash > > : [_] Suitcases of cocaine > > : [_] Oil revenues > > : [_] Personal check > > : [_] Credit card > > : [_] Ransom money > > : [_] Traveler's check > > > > : 12. Your occupation: > > : [_] Homemaker > > : [_] Sales / marketing > > : [_] Revolutionary > > : [_] Clerical > > : [_] Mercenary > > : [_] Tyrant > > : [_] Middle management > > : [_] Eccentric billionaire > > : [_] Defense Minister / General > > : [_] Retired > > : [_] Student > > : > > : 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate > > the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy > > participating on a regular basis: > > : [_] Golf > > : [_] Boating / sailing > > : [_] Sabotage > > : [_] Running / jogging > > : [_] Propaganda / misinformation > > : [_] Destabilization / overthrow > > : [_] Default on loans > > : [_] Gardening > > : [_] Crafts > > : [_] Black market / smuggling > > : [_] Collectibles / collections > > : [_] Watching sports on TV > > : [_] Wines > > : [_] Interrogation / torture > > : [_] Household pets > > : [_] Crushing rebellions > > : [_] Espionage / reconnaissance > > : [_] Fashion clothing > > : [_] Border disputes > > : [_] Mutually Assured Destruction > > > > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. > > Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell > > Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to > > receive mailings and special offers from other companies, > > governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for > > responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new > > F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! > > > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: > > McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department, > > Military Aerospace Division > > > > * IMPORTANT * This email is intended for the use of the individual > > addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is > > confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons > > with low self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious > > beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, > > distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either > > explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux > > pas. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, > > although the keltie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell > > you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be > > gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by > > reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from > > Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around > > yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls > > you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add > > some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for > > 40 minutes.:-jumpy
March 2, 200323 yr Thanks for posting this - too funny!Please come back with more... :).Cheers,Gosta.http://hifi.avsim.net/activesky/images/wxrebeta.jpg
March 7, 200323 yr It's still funny after all these years. Good to see it keeps popping up from time to time (first time I saw it was some 4 years ago on usenet in the military aviation newsgroups).
March 8, 200323 yr "You Can't beat an original" obliv, that's funny! like the part about the ring of salt :D :-LOL. 707
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