NoseWheel NewsFlashIn a follow-up to the tragic disaster of Wednesaday's flight LG99 (Seattle International to Clare Valley), the Washington Past was on the scene to bring you further developments in this breaking story. After locating the missing B747 nosewheel at a farmer's house, efforts to retrieve the wheel failed when a caseload of beer mysteriously emptied whilst in the custody of law enforcement offices Mike and Ken. Mike denied all knowledge of the incident: "I deny all knowidge of ther inshident", he said.Following routine investigations into its whereabouts, police tracked the wheel to a property in Forest Falls. Protocol robots were sent in to retrieve it, and in the resulting discussion, some collateral damage resulted (see pictures).Despite some loss of property, the nosewheel was recovered (melted). Police are conducting forensic tests on metal fragments embedded in the wheel to confirm that this is indeed the one which sproinged off the runway fencing.At this point all protocol robots have been recovered and returned to normal street control duty in Chicago except one. Police warn civilians that if approached by an endoskeleton asking "Is your name John", they should vacate the area with all possible haste. Preferably to Sydney. Anyone called John should book the next shuttle to Tranquility Base (contact NASA on 3917259 X-2645).The Forest Falls Fishing Lodge requests those with bookings in Nov/Dec to please contact them at their earliest convenience.

Robert,You wouldn't be able to reach Tranquility Base with the Space Shuttle......... :-sun1Chris Low,ENGLAND.

No, that's a good point. Just can't trust these news flashes can you? And the phone number's probably wrong ...

Robert,I tried the phone number, but your suspicion that it may be wrong appears to be justified :-lolChris Low,ENGLAND.

...and that was Columbia's nosewheel!The real one is still leaning against Cleatus' (the slack-jawed yokel) shed (near CVA) with a note on it reading:"Dagnabbit #@%$&*!~ FAA! Yer ken 'ave yer wheel back whin yer gits me a new bull. Th' ol' wun he don' keep dem cows a' happy no more - seen one eyein' up th' tractor yes'dy. If youse come 'ere w'out ma bull I've git 120 acres an' a shovel..."So much for the FBI - they sent the robots to Cleatus' farm but all they did was pick flowers and go around asking the cows and trees if their name was 'John'... Who programmed these idiots?Jon Point*************************([email protected])*************************

Well now I'm hopping mad. I've just brought the 747 back to Boeing for reassembly, 6439 trips in my Mazda (lucky its a hatch back - had trouble with the right wing though on the Mt Baker switchback), and I can't fix it because some farmer wants me to give him some bull. Now I'm just gonna have to go ahead and sue him for placing his farm in a locality likely to collect wheels. There must be some statute in Washington law about that sort of reckless behaviour. He wants bull I'll give him some bull ...Sorry I've gotta go, there's someone at the door asking if my name is John