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Guest GrantT

Taking a break from Flight Simming....

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Yes, there comes a time when we need to consider the overly stressed hobby of our and a recognition that we need to keep things in perspective. And what better way to do that than reviewing 2002's Darwin Awards! And here you go:"Yes, the one we've all been waiting for... the Darwin Award 2002. Thecandidates have finally been released! For those not familiar with theDarwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided theuniversal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the mostextraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keenagain. Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for thisevent!DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in twofeet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grateto retrieve his car keys.2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned"when he ran, "accidentally jogged off a 100 foot-high cliff on his dailyrun.3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had duginto the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel Jones,21 dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sittingin a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, buryinghim beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, usedtheir hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident ofWoodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavyequipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Joneswas pronounced dead at a hospital.4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fellface-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Deathwas caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep hishands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet, Nick Berrena, 20, wasstabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who wastrying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena waswearing.6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr, 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del, ashe won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded withfour bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in thegame of chicken they were playing with theirsnowmobiles.DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with ashot from his 22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock nearthe hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean outcobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torchand caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wifeBonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in theircar. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite andtried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparentlyfailed to notice the window was closed.RUNNER UP:TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends when oneof them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the TacomaNarrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heatedand at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30am. Uponarrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one hadbrought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered andpointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cablewas secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge.His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off atthe ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water andwas rescued by two nearby fishermen.

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The old adage "It takes all kinds to make the world go-around" is very evident here!Darrell

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ROFLMAO! :-lolNever stand behind an elephant!Dee Waldron (HJG)

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I would have hated to be the first cop to arrive at that scene having to check for a pulse! (in refrence to the winner).

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"accidentally jogged off a 100 foot-high cliff on his dailyrun":-lolI can't believe some people!

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May I take a break from working on real airplanes?:-bang

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Um, the Tacoma Narrows bridge is over part of the Pugeot Sound, not a river...and I can't spell Pugeott...

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Drum rooollll here is the list of idiots for 2003=================================================== The honorable mentions: The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping round, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. =================================================== A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. =================================================== After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. =================================================== An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. =================================================== A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?) =================================================== A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!" ==================================================== Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. ==================================================== As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." ==================================================== The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. ==================================================== When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had ====================================================The 2003 Darwin Award Winner: When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.! This time it worked. ===================================================

:-outta

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".- unknown
"My daddy gives me up, to fight for you"- a US Military Members Child

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Oh dear.People in my part of the world just shake their heads and say "only in America"......Mind you, in New Zealand we have some "winners" too.....we call them Australians!!CheersAllblack

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.........and that was a joke before anyone gets too upset!!Bit of trans-Tasman rivalry.Allblack:-beerchug

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Thanks for a great laugh - they were all great :-)Ben

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"6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr, 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.@:-lol Sounds rediculous, but Darren Brown will be doing it live on October 26th on British TV!

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