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Guest ba747heavy

Aviation Humor

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Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms--both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin--but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die. . ."

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A man gets on a international flight to Australia and notices a customs inspector with a dog next to him. 30 min into the flight when asked why he is there the customs inspector explains, "Its a new procedure to save time. We find the illegal items during the flight and grab them as they come through immigration at Australia. Watch this. Search" The dog runs up the aisle, stops next to a female passenger, runs back and places one paw in the inspectors lap. "See, the lady in 52F has marijuana in her bag. We just take down her seat number and pick her up at the other end. Search" The dog runs off again, stops next to a man and comes back,placing two paws in the inspectors lap. "That guy in 48C has heroin in his bag. We,ll have a ball with him! The passenger is amazed. " Does he find other things?" We'll see what he comes up with. Search! The dog runs up the aisle a third time, comes bolting back , jumps back up and drops a big xxxxx on the seat" The passenger jumps up into the aisle, quite disgusted saying, " What the hells going on? I thought you said this was a properly trained animal!" The inspector looks up at the passenger and in a very meek voice says, " Mate,Ive just crapped myself too. He,s found a bloody bomb!

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I really like this one:A man shuts down his Cessna 152 and walks into an airport cafe. A beautiful lady walks over to him and asks, "Are you a pilot?" He replied, "Why yes I am, would you like to take a seat?" So the lady sits down. She then continues the conversation by asking, "So, what kind of aircraft do you fly." The pilot quickly knew that saying he flew a itty-bitty Cessna 152 would not suffice for her approval so he quickly looks out the window and says, "Do you see that big, four engined plane over there?" She says "Yes, I do. Do you fly what one?" The pilot replies, "Nope, thats a C-130. I fly a C-152."It went something like that, I couldnt find the original one but I have always enjoyed that one. :)

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Passengers on a European Regional carrier are on the approach to a main Hub center. as the aircraft nears the treash hold it drops and hit the runway HARD!. As the aircraft moves to the gate the stewartess comes on the intercom "Ladys and gentalmen Please be carfull in oipening the overheads at this time a FOR SURE everything been tossed all over the place after that landing".Needless to say the pilot stayed in the cockpit untill the aircraft was empty.This was a ture story from one of the airline mags.Justin

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Jason, that's my new favorite aviation joke!!!VOlker :]

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yes, I think it was Easyjet. They're the Southwest Airlines of Europe :)

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I experienced a real world thumping landing in a 767 at Vegas.The very young first officer I am sure was made to stand at teh door as we departed with senior captain standing inside cockpit.As we passed I suggested that turbulence was a factor???The young first officer was beetroot red in face! Senior captain just gave a beautiful smile! See these ILS landings? Can't trust them(lol)

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