English is a strange language.....

[W2DR 1,862]

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
    present the present.
😎 At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of
    a bass drum.
 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
 10) I did not object to the object.
 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
 18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
 22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

 Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For
 example...

 If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the
 bough on a tree!

 Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

 There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
 neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

 English muffins weren't invented in England.

 We take English for granted.

 But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
 slowly boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
 is it a pig.

 And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
 grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

 Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
 not one amend?

 If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
 what do you call it?

 If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

 If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

 Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
 committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

 In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

 Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

 Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat
 chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

 You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
 can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
 and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

 If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?
 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 21, 2023 by W2DR
kant spel

[birdguy 3,958]

The busboy was bussed to work at a restaurant where he bussed tables and bussed a waitress on the cheek in the kitchen.

Noel

[n4gix 4,961]

We drive on parkways, but park on driveways... 

[Reader 2,035]

This is American, not English.
Nice copy and paste though.