IFR

[jabloomf1230 2,445]

Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. 

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. 

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

[martin-w 3,235]

😁👍

[stans 703]

Now there's some dark humor.  LOL!

[vadriver 248]

Jay, that's top class ...

[jabloomf1230 2,445]

Shortly after a British Airways Flight reached its designated cruising altitude, the captain announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain, Welcome to Flight 293 non-stop from London Heathrow to Pearson Airport in Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful and smooth flight, so sit back, relax and...OH MY GOD" then he screamed and the PA System went silent.
Silence nothing but complete silence ...then after a few moments there was an audible "click" as the Captain came back on the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm very sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
From the back of the aircraft, a little Irish fellow said, "you should see the back of mine!!"

[ILSFREAK 56]

Ha Ha Ha Thanks Jay