In all honesty i think we need more CEOs commenting on this thread because after all, they are the ones setting up these rules.
Now im only speaking on behalf of my va (vdelta.org) but as much as you say you dont like time compression and all these other rules, pilots like them.
I speak from experience here because after all, i started the same way. To begin with i was always lost. I didnt know where to start. Which is why i decided to open my own VA. I guess i can say vDelta could of been the perfect place for you. We had no restrictions, no rules, anything goes. We opened back in March of 2013 and as time was going by and the VA was growing, to my surprise it still is, pilots keep coming to me to push the idea of being more realistic. They dont want time compression allowed, they dont want to just fly anywhere anytime. They like the feel of realism, and that sometimes included rules. Just last week i got 3 pilots suggesting that we change our operations by ranks and seniority. Now i can say, and im basing it off on your original post that you want freedom, that vDelta now, is not the place for you. Why because my pilots are demanding realism. And if that means implementing rules and regulations then so be it. I will give them what they want if i can make it happen. After all, my va is still standing because of them. Yes not everyone is and will be, happy but you cant please everyone. I go for a majority rule type of deal.
Long story short my reason as to why i have rules and regulations is because my pilots want them. No we dont have the push a button every 5 minutes to see if you are still alive. In stead we provide our pilots with In-Flight entertainment systems to enjoy themselves as they fly. Tough time compression is not allow, they are allowed brakes. I dont believe we have rejected any PIREP from a pilot who has crossed the pond and paused the sim for more than 2 hours. WHY? because we are humans too, and like you said after all it is a hobby. I as a CEO know that im not paying you a single penny to spend your valuable time in my VA but you are still doing it and for that i thank you, comment on your pirep, say GREAT FLIGHT KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK and i accept that pirep if you had a great landing. What more could i ask for. If you are going to tell me that pausing your sim is not realistic and defeats the purpose of a hobby then so is time compression.
The flight sim community is a big world in and of itself that there is a VA out there for you. Some better than others. But reality is and as much as you wont accept this as an answer, but i hope my reasoning helps you reason your take on it, we do it for realism.