I turned 80 a couple of days ago and I just learned that the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists.  You can't be older than 42 to join the military.  They've got the whole thing word not allowed-backwards.

                       
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.  You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.

                          
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.  Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

                          
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.  'My back hurts!  I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'  We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some word not allowed that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

                 
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am.  Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.  Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-word not allowed.
                          
If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.  In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
                         
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.  We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food.  We've also developed an appreciation for guns.  We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
                          
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.  I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training
                          
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too.  I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
                          
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.  He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.  He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
                          
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
                          
Let us old guys track down those terrorists.  The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million word not allowed old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

Edited December 26, 20223 yr by W2DR

Is this a rerun, Doug?

I don't think so Charlie, but I can't remember what I had for breakfast on my first day of school either.

1 hour ago, W2DR said:

I don't think so Charlie.

I do 😁:

 

I was in until I reached the mandatory retirement age of 60.  I would have stayed longer if they would have let me.

Noel

1 hour ago, Reader said:

I do 😁:

Oops. My bad. The last few days haven't been easy and I apologize for this mistake. I never would never have believed that one birthday could have been so traumatic. But, life goes on..............

I must be getting as senile as you Doug.  I never noticed.

Noel

Edited December 26, 20223 yr by birdguy

Sorry, Doug and Noel!  As you noticed I didn't remove either of your topics for being repeated.  Noel's Xmas stamp story was also a repeat.  Just trying to keep the same stories from being posted several times a year.  Carry on, folks!😀

There might be fewer wars if we went back to the days of the kings. Those who made the decision to start a war was expected to lead in with the first boots on the ground with their own children in accompaniment. Things went really really rough for the losing leader. 

2 hours ago, W2DR said:

But, life goes on..............

No matter, I read it again anyway because it is a good read.
That's why I remembered it. 👍