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Guest IRE

PLease Don't Laugh.

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Hi again, This article appeared in THE MAIL, a 2 week TV program guide on the South Coast Of N.S.W. Australia last week. I thought that it was interesting that a topic on flying appeared in a TV program. I have a non opperating scanner at the moment and couldn't add this to the post so here it is, word for word.Mechanical Issues and what they said. After every flight pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during a flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and repair the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews thr gripe sheet/s before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor! Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers Incidently, most Airlines do have a good safety record!P = The problem logged by the pilot.S = The solution and action taken by engineers.P: Left inside main tyre Almost needs replacement.S: Almost Replaced left inside main Tyre.P: Test flight okay, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back order.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute decent.S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to a more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what they've there for.P: IFF inoperative.S: IFF always inoperative in off mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect your've right.P: Number three engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny.S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.S: Took hammer away from midget. So that's the article I read, and I'm sorry about the length of said article in this post. I hope you flightsim pilots get a laugh out of reading them. Smooth flying, IRE.

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These are so very old but they appear here and there every now and then, and still they make me laugh my butt off every time. :(Thanks for posting! :(RegardsEtienne :(

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