March 14, 201412 yr Hello, Trying to ease tension over Avsim dropping offline. Report of Captain to Maintenance of Faults. P= Captain. Mech.= Maintenance. P: Test flight OK except auto-land very rough. Mech: Auto-land not installed in this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit Mech: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield Mech: Live bugs on order P: Mouse in cockpit Mech: Cat installed P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. Mech: Took hammer away from midget. Some others available. Richard Welsh. Richard Welsh
March 14, 201412 yr P: Engine 3 missing M: After brief search engine 3 located on starboard wing Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
March 14, 201412 yr Picked from this list: http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/customer_service_jokes/pilot_and_aircraft_mechanic "P: Suspected crack in windshield.M: Suspect you're right" What happened to AVSIM
March 14, 201412 yr Author Hello Kevin and Oliver, You beat me to the punch. Richard Welsh. Richard Welsh
March 14, 201412 yr LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bravo, Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jamie Moses
March 15, 201412 yr Commercial Member Gents, I took over an airplane one day that had just been signed off by maintenance with the following: Pilot: "Cockpit door hard to open/close." Mech: "Ops checked normal. Recommend pilot buy a membership at Gold's Gym." I made sure the fellow who wrote it up got a copy. I'm not sure he thought it was nearly as funny as we did. :lol: Robert S. Randazzo PLEASE NOTE THAT PMDG HAS DEPARTED AVSIM You can find us at: http://forum.pmdg.com
March 15, 201412 yr Great idea. Not only a smile on my face, but a big burst of laughter on a dreary "I really don't know what to do weather" morning in Toronto. -->> Old lady to Captain after a hard landing: "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?" -->> Flight Attendant to passengers after a hard landing: " .... and please remain seated while the Captain taxis whatever is left of our airplane to the terminal" ... Roberto Roberto Stopnicki Toronto, Canada
March 15, 201412 yr Gents, I took over an airplane one day that had just been signed off by maintenance with the following: Pilot: "Cockpit door hard to open/close." Mech: "Ops checked normal. Recommend pilot buy a membership at Gold's Gym." I made sure the fellow who wrote it up got a copy. I'm not sure he thought it was nearly as funny as we did. :lol: We once had the same complaint about the cockpit door in a Fokker 70, but we couldnt reproduce it on the ground. Turned out it was caused by slight deforming of the frame due to the big differential pressure at cruise altitude. Wish I thought of that joke back then hehe.
March 16, 201412 yr Pilot words of wisdom: The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. If your flight is going remarkably well, something was forgotten. The three most useless things to a pilot are: Fuel left on the ramp, altitude above you, and runway behind you. Take-offs are optional, landings are mandatory.The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. To make a small fortune in aviation you must start with a large fortune.There's nothing less important than the runway behind you and the altitude above you. It's better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground.
March 16, 201412 yr Great idea. Not only a smile on my face, but a big burst of laughter on a dreary "I really don't know what to do weather" morning in Toronto. -->> Old lady to Captain after a hard landing: "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?" -->> Flight Attendant to passengers after a hard landing: " .... and please remain seated while the Captain taxis whatever is left of our airplane to the terminal" ... Roberto Are you serious??? Our weather here in Toronto was great compared to the last few weeks!
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