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Humor in Uniform...

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Years ago Reader's Digest published a column called Humor in Uniform each month with jokes about the military and military life.  Yesterday a friend and I were exchanging ones we could remember.

I think this is the best one I recalled only it might not have been a joke at all.

The best Humor in Uniform joke I can remember...

During WW2 at a basic training base there were three mess halls.  Each one had a 2nd lieutenant mess officer and once a month the mess officer had to submit a number of reports including how many dishes were broken to how many spoiled potatoes were thrown away.  It was tedious.

One month one of lieutenants got done early and thought he'd have some fun.  He typed up fake report reporting how many flies were caught in the fly paper that month and he sent it in with all the rest expecting a mild reprimand for being a smart-word not allowed.

Two weeks later the other two mess halls got letters telling them their fly-paper report was missing.

Noel

The tires are worn.  The shocks are shot.  The steering is wobbly.  But the engine still runs fine.

  • Moderator

Heh! I actually remember that one Noel... 🙃

Fr. Bill    

AOPA Member: 07141481 AARP Member: 3209010556


     Avsim Board of Directors | Avsim Forums Moderator

And it would actually happen in the Military.

"Two weeks later the other two mess halls got letters telling them their fly-paper report was missing"

What you don't understand is that this new requirement WAS the 2nd Lieutenant's punishment.  HE...HE...had to explain to the other mess officers why they were submitting weekly fly paper reports.  I bet they were none too happen with him, and that they let their displeasure be known in no uncertain terms!  Sometimes, peer punishment can be more severe than an reprimand from up above. 

They Army doesn't have a sense of humor that they're aware of!

Rich Boll

Richard Boll

Wichita, KS

I have an Australian one which goes back to the Vietnam era.

A drill sergeant is working on  the firing range with new recruits (conscripts) and as he is walking behind the troops on the firing mound, one of the recruits stops him and makes a comment about the fact that he has been plugging away at the target for 20 minutes and he has yet to hit the target.  He asks the drill sergeant if this horrible performance would actually stop him from going to Vietnam. The drill sergeant thinks about this for a moment and then replies "unfortunately, it probably will not stop you going to Vietnam, but .... It may well prevent you coming back"

Vietnam Vets may well appreciate this. LOL

Regards

Tony

Tony Chilcott.

 

My System. Motherboard. ASRock Taichi X570 CPU Ryzen 9 3900x (not yet overclocked). RAM 32gb Corsair Vengeance (2x16) 3200mhz. 1 x Gigabyte Aorus GTX1080ti Extreme and a 1200watt PSU.

1 x 1tb SSD 3 x 240BG SSD and 4 x 2TB HDD

OS Win 10 Pro 64bit. Simulators ... FS2004/P3Dv4.5/Xplane.DCS/Aeroflyfs2...MSFS to come for sure.

Here's a Canadian one from the early 80's:

All the personnel are lined up nice and pretty on the parade square.  The base Chief Warrant Officer is inspecting, and as always he's equipped with his shiny pace stick.  He stops in front of one poorly turned out member, levels the brass tip of the stick about an inch in front of his nose, and growls "Son, there's a piece of word not allowed on the end of this stick"...  This kid screws up his eyes almost cross-eyed trying  to focus on the end of the stick... then in a properly loud, military response yells "Not on this end, Sir!"...

The Base Chief performs a perfect about turn, and promptly marches off the drill deck straight up the stairs of the headquarters building.  We hear the door to his office slam... and then the loudest laughing  you've ever heard... He'd forgotten his office windows were open 🙂

 

 

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