In recent past, I came to the AVSIM FSX forumn under the name "Jim Knows", filing a post asking Phil Taylor to be fired. With the appearance of a crazed person, I went into what one my view as a "psychotic" rage going into very explicit detail of what was completely inappropriate and unwarranted to Phil while he was working his _ _ _ off to please all of us FSX sim lovers.That day, the forumn administrators went into Defcon 1 mode as I kept coming up with new email addresses continuing my rants which progressed into an all out attack on the avsim administrators for cutting me off, including going after one administrator's own weblog with the intent to disgrace him in front of his friends and even a personal email to his own home threatening him with court action hiding behind the "freedom of speech" clause. How retarded is that. I have hurt alot of peoples' feelings and ended up disgracing myself in the process. I feel awful for what I did, even hated myself afterwards. Just days before I did these awful things, I lost both my mother-in-law and father-in-law in the space of 3 weeks. I didn't realize a human being could produce that much water as I balled my eyes out for days and days. Then it turned to anger, then to rage. I used Phil Taylor, the Avsim members and the Avsim administrators to channel that rage. Being a mild mannered, self-controlled person, when I was done my dirty deeds of that day, I ended up hating myself for what I did. Strange grieving process eh? So Phil, I really do apologize to you. I feel awful for trying to hurt you where it hurts most. You have done nothing but return kindness to me even when I was asking for your head. It takes a big man to have to sit there and read what I wrote and it takes a bigger man to return kindness when a wrong was done to you. I hope you'll accept my apologies. To AVSIM members, I hope my experience will help you or anyone else that may feel the urge to try to take away someone's credibility. Putting oneself on a pedestal with the audacity to post with the full intention of threatening one's livelyhood and one's joy in life is ludicrous. To AVSIM administrators, you should thank me for giving you the best in Defcon training.......hey, I got to throw in at least one funny in there. Really though, I am sorry guys. And I can't thank you enough for allowing me to post this apology. From reading your emails, I know it was a tough decision for you guys and I will never forget it. Thankyou. Meanwhile, I think its only fair to the administrators that I ask all of you for your permission to return to AVSIM. Therefore, is it alright with you folks if I return to AVSIM?

I can only speak for myself of course, but it takes a lot of courage to post a public apology. Truth be told however, doing so while still veiled by the mask of anonymity devalues it considerably.

It's certainly ok with me if you stay.

I hope you are all right.RhettAMD 3700+ (@2310 mhz), eVGA 7800GT 256 (Guru3D 93.71), ASUS A8N-E, PC Power 510 SLI, 2 GB Corsair XMS 2.5-3-3-8 (1T), WD 250 gig 7200 rpm SATA2, CoolerMaster Praetorian case

Welcome back, Jim :-)

Welcome back ;-)Cheers,Andr

JimKnows...I am not only a flight-sim pilot, real world pilot, but a real world full time pastor of a church. I never read any of the posts to which your refer. But your words sound repentant, sincere, and real. I, for one, understand the reason for anonymity when it comes to something like this... however reconciliation is usually best done when spoken "face to face" between the estranged parties. Since that is difficult in cyberspace, I would encourage you to possibly e-mail directly Mr. Taylor, or if he can't be reached that way, you may want to post something on his blog... and please, be sure HE knows your identity from the past.Since I have no knowledge of who you may or may not have offended on the forum, I would leave it up to you to decide if it might be better to contact some of the offended parties directly by e-mail in addition to this general post. We're talking about healing for you, first, and acceptance by the community here, second. It appears their response is going to be a gracious one.It sounds like you had a HUGE hit on the grief index! I have already said a prayer for the hurt that must be in your heart. Feel free to contact me directly at [email protected] if you wish.I, for one, consider your post to be EXTREMELY refreshing. I've read a lot of posts here that border on "lack of respect" for others... and that puts it mildly.Take care and God bless you,Steve

Jim,One very positive way to assuage grief is to turn grief into a method to help others. This action has a very positive effect on deep feelings ofdespair through great loss.One good example is Mark Lunsford, whom I am very familiar with, who lost his 9 year old daughter, little Jessica, two years ago in that horrific sex crime that made national headlines. He turned that unbearable rage into resounding victory by transversing this country and bringing about laws in almost every state, Jessica's Law, protecting children from offenders.The point is grief through great loss can be channeled into a feeling of peace and accomplishment through removing the thought of 'I have been hurt' into 'how can I help others cope with their grief'. Grief, like suffering, can be a great teacher when viewed in the right way.Gary

PastorPilot and all,I really thank you folks for your kind and forgiving words. Its heart felt and very heart warming, especially with such a tremendous and painful loss. There is no more painful feeling than when someone you dearly love passes away as you are stroking their hair and stroking their hand, and to have it happen to 2 great people in the space of 3 weeks.On Phil Taylor's weblog, I appologized to him directly without saying the words "I am sorry". Some of it private, some of it public. Phil did thank me for my kind words. We ended up kidding with each other after all was said and done.When Phil was put in a position where he felt he had to block all comments on his weblog, this is when I apologized in a guy-to-guy sorta way. Thats why, within hours, Phil took off the block.Having said that, I wanted this "apology" post to be about Phil Taylor, the Avsim administrators and you, the avsim members. Not about me even though I am very thankful and appreciative of all your comments. Everyone, please pat yourselves on the back for being stand-up people and making this sim forumn (from what I can see), the best on the internet.

Not wanting to sound like a suck, but from what I've seen, Phil Taylor is some sort of special guy. Utterly professional and Im sure that's why he gets paid the big bucks by Microsoft.

>Jim,>>One very positive way to assuage grief is to turn grief into a>method to help others. This action has a very positive effect>on deep feelings of>despair through great loss.>>One good example is Mark Lunsford, whom I am very familiar>with, who lost his 9 year old daughter, little Jessica, two>years ago in that horrific sex crime that made national>headlines. He turned that unbearable rage into resounding>victory by transversing this country and bringing about laws>in almost every state, Jessica's Law, protecting children from>offenders.>>The point is grief through great loss can be channeled into a>feeling of peace and accomplishment through removing the>thought of 'I have been hurt' into 'how can I help others cope>with their grief'. Grief, like suffering, can be a great>teacher when viewed in the right way.>>GaryEvery coin has two sides. Take yours and spend it somewhere else.Our OP joined this forum - repeatedly - to knowingly and maliciously attack someone who couldn't fight back and has, as yet, made no significant contribution to the life and progress of this forum. "Ye shall know them by their fruits" - Matthew 7:16Unlike some I'm withholding both judgment AND acceptance of the apology until his `fruits` are seen. This could all be a cynical ploy. But if this is a genuine apology then they've taken a first step. Long way to go on the journey though, and you don't pay the ferryman until you get to the other side - De Burgh 1:13 ;) Allcott

Yup, we've all made idiots of ourselves at some time or another on this site. The difference is that you have been man enough to apologise for it. I wish I had the guts to have done it at the time.Well done mate.Chris Porter:-outtaPerthWestern AustraliaCheck out my 5th Around the World flight with MS FSX at http://members.iinet.com.au/~portercbp/fly...W_05/index.html

Jim,Your heartfelt apology is, of course, accepted. I believe all of us here in the community are impressed by both the public nature of the apology and your clear honesty, since you talk about "behind the scenes" incidents that are generally not known except by those involved - so you are to be applauded for going the extra mile there.Now get back to some flying and having fun!Phil

My Dear Lady,You are indeed a lost cause! I was wondering whenyou were going to crawl out of the bushes!Gary

I tend to agree. The OP certainly seems remorsful, but future positive contributions to this community will be the proof in the pudding.Gary