Newfie Flight 101 was flying from St. John's to Fort McMurray one night, with Russell the Pilot and Glen the co-pilot. As they approached Fort McMurray Airport, they looked out the front window.

"Lord tunderin jeesus" said Russell "Will ye look at how flippin short dat runway is".

"You're not flippin kiddin, Russell" replied Glen.

"Right Glen. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse" said Russell.

"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Glen.

"And den ye put de flaps up straight away," said Russell.

"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Glen.

"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can," said Russell

"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Glen.

"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul," said Russell.

"I be doing dat already," replied Glen.

So they approached the runway with Russell and Glen full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Glen put the engines in reverse, put the flaps up, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tires and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimeters from the end of the runway much to the relief of Russell and Glen and everyone on board.

As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Russell looked out the front window and said to Glen, "Dat has gotta be de shortest flippin runway I have EVER seen in me whole life."

Glen looked out the side window and replied, "Yeah Russell, but look how flippin wide it is."

I think I flew with those guys when they were in the Canadian Forces...! 🙂

Cracked me up!

Kinda sounds like flying with Harrison Ford! 🤔  Runway?  What runway?  I use the taxiway!

There used to be a great Canadian Aviation magazine that had a fictional story at the back of the mag about a fictional Maritime airline - Down East International. Was written each month by an Air Canada Captain....Jack Desm?????? great aviation humour along the likes of above. There was a book published containing all the articles (monthly stories). I still have it here somewhere.

I flew in northern Manitoba for many years and what we did with the hawker 748, Saab340, Bandit and Cl215 could have almost been taken from the storyline of Down East International. Some little remote Manitoba communities had street lights brighter than the runway lights and at night in heavy snow you'd see the street lights first....this was way before PAPI or VASIS were installed doing an NDB approach (no gps then)....happened to me the first time going into CYOH but as i was in the right seat  the Captain who knew every last tree on approach educated me.

Here's one to consider.  When a fly lands on the ceiling, does he roll inverted or does he (or her) do a vertical 180?

Good one, reminds me of an airshow I visited several years ago - in the 80's probably.  A Fiesler Storch (WW2 German observation aircraft), possibly a replica, landed across the width of the runway.  Then proceeded to take off in what was left.  Now that's STOL! 

Yep, when i flew out of KCRQ  in the 70s, someone had a collection of very interesting WWII aircraft ranging from a F6F (which was later bent) to a P-63 King Cobra.  I think he had a Storch which we would see occasionally. 

Talk about STOL, I saw a Beech Bonanza make a short field landing there.  A bunch of us were standing around watching a gaggle of F4Us, possibly from the old TV show "Black Sheep Squadron,"  fly the pattern when in the distance comes the Beech Bonanza in for a landing, sans gear.  He touched down and stopped very quickly.  That was the short landing.  Then a cherry picker hoisted him up off the runway and carried him to the ramp..  Very short take off!  Meanwhile, one could almost see the F4U drivers getting nervous because the field was closed because the the Bonanza's STOL.

Not an Aviation joke but a good ole Canadian joke too

This guy went out on the ice to go ice fishing with all his gear, he was ready cut a hole in the ice with his Auger when their was this loud booming voice 'NO FISHES THERE...' 

Wow he thought to himself, the voice of god was helping him, so he went further down the ice and got his auger ready to make his hole when he heard the voice again 'NO FISHES THERE...' 

He was so was surprised he put his arms up high in the air and yelled out 'GOD, is that you????'

then the voice said 'NO IT'S THE ARENA MANAGER'

so he went to a fight and a hockey game broke out!