So I was at a home improvement store loading some stuff into my car, when a middle aged woman next to me starts to load several 25-40 pound bags of potting soil into the back of her car. I notice her struggle with the first bag, so like a gentleman I offer my assistance to load them for her. I might as well have asked if she wanted pull her top off and be groped because she stood back and sarcasticly huffs that she doesn't need a mans help! I didn't say what I was about to say... but jeez, sometimes I wonder if holding doors for women and helping them with heavy stuff is not politically correct any longer?? A few days ago I held a door open for a lady pushing her baby stroller and she breezes by like I was the doorman or something. As she walked off I did yell "your welcome princess", at which point she turns around and shoots me the evil eye. Not a thanks or nothing.

 

Sorry had to vent!! :)

I think you were just being a gentleman, unfortunately neither of these women were "Ladies". Personally I don't give a rats butt about Politically Correct. First of all I'm not some spineless image conscience politician or a cry baby liberal who thinks everyone should feel good about themselves all the time. Second, I don't believe in the present "Respect" baloney either. Respect is earned by deeds and promises kept. "Common Courtesy" seems to gone the way of the Dodo bird. Basically I'll treat you the way I would expect you to treat me.

By the way.. Keep being a gentleman because you never know when it will pay off. Several years ago I made a trip to my local bank. As I approached the front door I noticed an elderly woman, probably around 75 or so, about to leave the bank. I got to the door first and held it open for her. As she walked through the open door I said "Good afternoon." She smiled and replied "It must be the bandage." as she tapped the large bandage she had on her left forearm. I said " No ma'am. I was a sailor for more than twenty years and one thing a sailor will always do is hold open a door for a pretty girl." That elderly woman blushed and said "Thank you very much, you just made my day." As she walked away I noticed a definite spring in her step and her head held high. Making that total stranger smile also made my day and I don't know about her but I've never forgotten that moment. So keep trying dighost, you just might make someones day.

Guys chivalry isn't truly dead, it's just sorely wounded these days. I was myself rather pleasantly surprised just yesterday afternoon when a rather scruffy young man paused, then held the door open for me when I went to exit the fast food store where I'd gone to pick up a few things...

 

Chris, just keep doing what you're doing man! Bravo Zulo for making that elderly woman's day! :Applause:

So keep trying dighost, you just might make someones day

 

Thanks Chris and no problem, I always try to do the right thing whether people appreciate it or not. My momma would have had my tail if I didn't!! That was a great story about holding the door for the woman. LIke you, I don't expect high-fives, but common courtesy of a simple "Thanks" or even a nod would be fine.

...a cry baby liberal who thinks everyone should feel good about themselves all the time...

 

Your point becomes invalid once you start assigning labels and blame to things that you personally don't agree with. Can't people just respect one another without labeling everything a "liberal" or "conservative" ideal?

My point doesn't become invalid just because You don't like labels. And evidently you're a good example of what I mentioned. "Can't people just respect one another..." Respect is earned, always has been. It's the first tenet of leadership.

If someone is acting like a jerk I don't respect him NOR DO I HAVE TO. That's my choice to make. I believe you are confusing "COMMON COURTESY" with Respect which seems to be very prevalent in our PC society.

My point doesn't become invalid just because You don't like labels. And evidently you're a good example of what I mentioned. "Can't people just respect one another..." Respect is earned, always has been. It's the first tenet of leadership.

If someone is acting like a jerk I don't respect him NOR DO I HAVE TO. That's my choice to make. I believe you are confusing "COMMON COURTESY" with Respect which seems to be very prevalent in our PC society.

 

I've had several leadership courses during my time in the service, and I don't recall that being one of them. I don't believe that someone has to earn respect. I give people my full respect until they do something that proves they don't deserve it.

Unfortunately this is the norm for most people.Respect and courtesy have gone out the window!!

However it still pays to be nice.Eventually you will get it all back in spades.

Karma is a very real phenomenon!!

Dighost: If you want to cover your bases (especially at a home improvement store) next time just ask if she would like a hand with that. If she does, I've never been ostracized for asking: that's when they usually reply with a "Thank You!" and a big smile.

 

If it makes you feel any better, don't take it personally. Women don't even know what they want! It's been my experience that if I do anything for anybody, the best thing for me is to just expect absolutely nothing in return. That's the only time I'm ever really happy.

 

I'm really glad you chose to share this! I've been having my doubts about a lot of these type of things lately myself.

Respect should be given at all times. Respect should continue to be given even more so after it is not returned as two wrongs will never make a right, or change a thing. Just my two cents.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Interesting! You've had several leadership courses. Have you ever been in a leadership position? Have you ever watched the people who were your leader such as a Department Head or X.O or C.O.? (I realize from your awacs picture that you must be ex USAF so our terminology is different. I'm accustomed to USN organizational structure. Department Head would be a Major or Lt. Col. in charge of the Maintenance Dept. or Operations or whatever.)

Have you actually studied effective leadership role models or ever had a "bull session" with someone you considered an effective leader? If you had you would realize that subordinates can respect the uniform and collar devices and not respect the individual wearing them. During Vietnam several junior officers caught a round of"friendly fire" because their troops had lost all respect for their ability to lead. Why did General Patton have such loyalty from his troops? He even said once (I think this is historically accurate) "I might be a S.O.B. but I'm their S.O.B." They were loyal because they RESPECTED his ability to lead.

Here's an interesting quote: "I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All Iask is that you respect me as a human being." from the great baseball legend Mr. Jackie Robinson

 

So, as I said in my original post "Respect is earned by deeds and promises kept." Would anyone agree that there are different levels of respect? One level; I can respect you as a fellow human being or as it was referred to in previous times having "Common Courtesy" towards one another. A second level being the attitude which I see so much today " Don't dis me man!"

 

Any Comments? Are there two or maybe more level of respect?

 

I'll be back! I have to go cut the grass. Ha-Ha! I'll be happy when the weeds take over, they grow slower!

I notice her struggle with the first bag, so like a gentleman I offer my assistance to load them for her. I might as well have asked if she wanted pull her top off and be groped because she stood back and sarcasticly huffs that she doesn't need a mans help! I didn't say what I was about to say...

 

I would have told her (nicely) that I would have offered that help to anyone in your situation regardless if they were a man, women, green, black, white, or blue and I wasn't giving you special treatment because you're a woman, however because of your attitude the offer is now off the table...

 

But that is just me. I have a hard time just walking away as well.

 

Cheers

I'd have asked her if she could wait around a few minutes, since I'm buying a few bags of cement and I'd have no problem letting her load them for me... ; )