Sometimes my first wife (Japanese) who wasn't that fluent in English or the way of American women would be sitting in her chair in the living room when I came home from work.  As soon as I walked in the door she would say, "I want to fight."  What she meant was she was angry and wanted to argue about something.  So I said in my most pleasant voice, "Sweetheart, I just stopped in for a minute to tell you I have to go back to the base and work late tonight."  Then Immediately backed out the door and walked back to the base.

I would either go to the NCO club or snag some single guy in the barracks to hit a few clubs off base.  I made sure I didn't come back until after midnight when I knew she'd be asleep.

She hadn't yet learned the phrase, "You just hold it mister!  I'm not through with you yet!"

Noel

 

10 hours ago, martin-w said:

 

Retract that statement immediately! And issue a full written apology to our feline friends. 😡

MINUS 1000 cat points. -1000 😼

Martin, 

I am a cat lover too, (we have 12 cats at home in Indonesia) and I too was initially horrified with that joke until I saw the humour in it.

Regards

Tony

11 hours ago, martin-w said:

A new word I invented. I think it will catch on.

Much more betterer than acronyms in my opinion. Acronyms, when they arroved (I love that word) just meant extra work for me trying to make sense of them and that is impossible without google.

Tony

13 hours ago, martin-w said:

 

Oh yes indeed. A forum I used to frequent some years ago used to convert cockpit into male chicken pit. Forum word censors are a form of insane AI. 

One forum I am on goes as far as the following examples : do###ents, cu###ber, ###ulate , and any other word that has cum in it absolutely pathetic. All that does is highlight the word they are trying to hide

46 minutes ago, Freo said:

male chicken pit.

And for women pilots a female chick pit?

Noel

13 hours ago, himmelhorse said:

 

Martin, 

I am a cat lover too, (we have 12 cats at home in Indonesia) and I too was initially horrified with that joke until I saw the humour in it.

Regards

Tony

 

 

Hmm... in that case our feline overlords will let you off. However, they will be watching you just in case evil comments  like that once again are typed on your keyboard. 

Ive been authorised to give you back 980 cat points. You now have a deficit of ten.

+ 900  😼

14 hours ago, Penzoil3 said:

You got it Martin! ROFLMAO !

 

Ive been around an ex wife and a daughter for quite a few decades. I think I'm getting a rough idea of how it works now. I'm sure there's some kind of complex mathematical equation that explains it all. Or something to do with Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. 

3 hours ago, martin-w said:

ex wife and a daughter

Try a live-in wife and three daughters Martin.

And when I get the Pearly Gates,

To St. Peter I will tell,

"I raised three teenage daughters sir,

I've spent my time in hell!"

Noel

1 hour ago, birdguy said:

Try a live-in wife and three daughters Martin.

 

😯😩😪

A nightmare from hell.

The ancient texts say, that when girls all live together their menstrual cycles coincide. It is written. 

That's right, the "time that shall not be mentioned" synchronises. How did you cope you poor man? Was it your military training that pulled you though, helped you cope in times of extreme danger and anxiety? 

He spent a lot of time on base, working overtime. LOL  (one week a month)

 Sue

Edited December 3, 20214 yr by Penzoil3

Wel, Martin, being a top sergeant helped.  But there were times when they hated my guts.  

One summer when we were about to go out in the field with the Army we had four women in the unit.  We had a small office in the headquarters building.  My commanding officer waved me over to the filing cabinet and opened the top drawer.  It was full a feminine sanitary products.  I told him I was going to attach myself to one of the cavalry scout companies (They were a separate armored brigade then).  I took one of our weather observers with me and we spent the next ten days in the field riding around in an M577 armored personnel carrier providing weather support and I left my CO to deal with the 'ladies'.

MY CO and I had a unique relationship.  The Army sort of look down on Air Force troops attached to them.  But I had been a Marine and served in Korea and I wore a First Marine Division patch on my right shoulder according to Army custom.  That established our bonafides with the Army.  So my CO and I had an understanding.  In garrson he was in charge.  In the field I was in charge. It worked out fine.

Noel

Edited December 3, 20214 yr by birdguy

Never send a woman to do a man's job.

This morning I am making my own spaghetti sauce.  I make it from scratch and slow cook it in the crock pot.  Got all the ingredients I had purchased yesterday laid out on the counter top ready to start cutting, dicing and slicing and I saw the two cartons of tomato sauce I need are missing.  So I ask Betty what happened to them.  A rhetorical question of course because she doesn't know what happened to them.

So I start out the door to go to the store two blocks away and get the tomato sauce.  She offers to go for me.

I stupidly let her go.  I told her I need the sauce right away so just get tomato sauce and come right back.

Twenty minutes later I called her and she says we need other things and she's still shopping.  I told her to forget the other things and get back with tomato sauce right away so I can turn on the crock pot.

So she comes home in a huff and I get the tomato sauce, pour it in the crock pot, stir it around, and turn on the heat.  It's my fault of course.  We all know a woman can't go into a store to buy just one thing.  I should have said, "That's Ok dear.  I'll just go myself."  Now she'll be in a huff for the next 5 or 6 hours and who can say I don't deserve it.

Noel

 

 

6 hours ago, birdguy said:

"I raised three teenage daughters sir,

I've spent my time in hell!"

You should try two teenage sons.........

15 minutes ago, W2DR said:

You should try two teenage sons.........

After 3 daughers, I don't believe he is really motivated to try that one LOL

Tony

I had a son the same time I had the daughters.  He was the youngest and he was a saint compared to them.  Nowhere near the trouble and grief.

I could scold my son and an hour later we are watching TV together.  I scold a daughter and she holds a grudge for a week.

Noel