Not fishing for sympathy or anything here but losing so many close friends and relatives in such a short time is a bit hard to take.

Just before Thanksgiving last year I lost my brother to COVID.  He was in a nursing home and had a boatload of underlying conditions.  A rare type of blood cancer, congestive heart failure, Parkinsons and the onset of dementia.   He was 2 1/2 years young than me.  And I wonder why he had all those ailments and got away free.

Next came my flying buddy.  He was also in a nursing home and just died of old age.  He was 95.  We were both pilots and once a month we would rent a Cessna 152 and fly to Sierra Blanca or Carlsbad or Tatum or some other airport 100 or so miles away.  One of us would fly out and the other would fly back.  Thanksgiving was always at his house and Christmas was celebrated at ours.

Charlie was my first friend after we moved to Roswell.  He died just after New Years Day.  He wasn't that old but dementia got him too.  I bought my plastic models from him when I could still build them and he would sometimes special order me one I wanted.  And he was also a hiking partner or sometimes we would buy steaks and got to Sitting Bull Falls State Park and grill them.  He was in his early 60s.

Three weeks ago I got a call from the Flagstaff police department.  My son had been missing for about three years and we had him listed with the Flagstaff Missing Persons unit at their police department.  They found his Jeep at a remote campsite with all of his belongings in it.  And just a few yards away they found skeletal remains.  The condition of the Jeep and the remains the officer said they had been out there for over two years.  He liked to go camping in the national forests alone and find remote spots away from people.  The other day officers from the Roswell Police Department came to the house and took cheek swabs from Betty and I so they could make a [positive DNA identification.  If he died two years ago he would have been 53.  The officer said there was no evidence of foul play.  

A week after that my brother-in-law...my wife's brother died.  He had been hospitalized with mouth cancer.  He had chewed tobacco all of his adult life.  He was also in his early 60s.

Today another one.  My computer guru at the computer shop.  He took care of our computers and several years built me a computer for my simulator.  I don't know what took him, I just found out he was now gone too. 

It's quite sobering to lose so many in such a short period of time.  In wartime in combat zones you expect it.  But not in ordinary everyday life. 

It's quite sobering to look back on the past few months and wonder.

Noel

We reach a point in life where life starts to give a lot less and take from us a lot more.  Sorry for your loses, Noel.

Noel, sorry you are bearing such a load...  No words just thoughts and best wishes...

The one thing I can say is while looking back is healthy the rear view is just that and you still have a front windscreen to focus on!  If you are looking in the rear view you are missing what's in front of you... 

Keep focus forward and be well!

-Paul

Noel,

So sorry to hear about your family and friends. Our house is entering this phase of life too. 

Appreciate your willingness to share, we are all in the same boat at this stage.

Please find what comfort is available and know we understand.

 

 

Edited July 27, 20223 yr by hs118

Noel - at 85 I'm experiencing the same. It seems that every time I turn around some other friend or family member passes. Most disturbing when they are younger. The longer you live, the more load you will carry - but at least you are still alive to carry it. 

It's not the beginning or the end, it's the journey that is special.

6 hours ago, psolk said:

If you are looking in the rear view you are missing what's in front of you... 

Oh No Paul!  When all you have left is the rearview mirror and the windshield is all fogged up be thankful for the rearview memories.  That's where all the memories are located.

The only thing left in front of the windshield is watching friends and acquaintances and even family members go.  No more career opportunities left.  No more vacations to look forward to.

The present and the past dominate our lives now.  Sitting across from each other at a restaurant table the most common topic now is, "Do you remember when..."  That's our legacy.  What we have done.  Our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.  

The last time we were eating crab legs at The Red Lobster Betty said, "Do you remember when we were on our way back from that backpacking trip at Lost Creek and were still two miles from the trailhead and your knee popped out?"  She carried her pack back to the car and then came back to get mine while I limped back beside her."

Quite a woman my Betty.  I am so fortunate to still have her with me...to grow old together and relive those fond rearview mirror memories.

Noel

Edited July 27, 20223 yr by birdguy

May God bless and comfort you Noel. At seventy, one thing I look ahead to is watching my four Grand Kids grow, discover and move forward in this world. Look to encourage and pray for the next gens coming after us. One of my Grand Sons is nine and Autistic. I never knew it could be so sweet to have a special needs child in the family and watch his development. My other Grand Son is an up-and-coming Little Leaguer. The future is no longer mine, but I can so joyously say it's theirs and I can only be grateful old Papa can watch and sometimes participate.

Vic, two years ago I flew out to Charleston just to spend three days playing with my great granddaughters and a great grandson.  The great grandson was almost a year old and the great granddaughters 4 and 5.

That's all I did.  They didn't have room for me so I stayed at a bed and breakfast place and my granddaughter picked me up and took me out to breakfast each morning and then to the house where I spent the day with the girls.  My granddaughter and her husband kept asking me if I wanted to see Charleston or was there any place they could take me.  I just said no, I want to play with the kids.  And they wore me out.

Noel  

57 minutes ago, birdguy said:

Vic, two years ago I flew out to Charleston just to spend three days playing with my great granddaughters and a great grandson.  The great grandson was almost a year old and the great granddaughters 4 and 5.

That's all I did.  They didn't have room for me so I stayed at a bed and breakfast place and my granddaughter picked me up and took me out to breakfast each morning and then to the house where I spent the day with the girls.  My granddaughter and her husband kept asking me if I wanted to see Charleston or was there any place they could take me.  I just said no, I want to play with the kids.  And they wore me out.

Noel  

Man that’s great.😊

Noel: I don't know what to say regarding your loss. I thought i had it bad  being in the hospital overnight last week.

You are teaching me a good lesson here.

8 hours ago, birdguy said:

Quite a woman my Betty.  I am so fortunate to still have her with me...to grow old together and relive those fond rearview mirror memories.

I'm 59, so relatively young. But i'm getting the hang of it lately to see life for what it is. Life in essence is a true miracle and it might be really all we have, one life. We may never come back after our deaths, and the circumstances that led to us being born at all are probably a one-time true miracle too. So despite all the bottomless suffering we endure in our lifetimes, when i keep this view on life in focus i manage to stay quite thankful for just being here, for being able to just see things and just hear things and just smell things and just feel things, and only that. The very fact we are here and alive is unique and wonderful in itself. It's just our own minds that hinders and bothers us with relatively small things. But sometimes we can change that with a slight change in perspective on life.

I'd like to say that i think you're a wonderful brave and honest man Noel, to share this. I'm very glad for you that you have your Betty by your side, to look back and laugh about things of the past.

Edited July 28, 20223 yr by Wildblue

19 hours ago, birdguy said:

When all you have left is the rearview mirror and the windshield is all fogged up be thankful for the rearview memories.

I have got to remember that line!

Do any of you remember the old 1939 movie "Goodbye Mister Chips?"  The entire movie is the memories of a kind, gentle old man.  It was delightful.   I've seen about a half dozen times and watch it every time it comes around.  And it chokes me up brings tears to my eyes.  Robert Donat starred as Mr. Chips.  I judge it the best movie of the last 82 years.

Noel