Do you know whats really annonying!

[flyultimate 13]

There is a blond on the plane:

 

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

 

As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING!   BOEING!!   BOEING!!!   BO....."

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cockpit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "Be silent!"

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot.

 

She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING!   OEING!   OEING!   OE...."

 

 

Cheers and Merry Christmas,

 

Jim Wilkerson

[HiFlyer 9,367]

Almost forgot about this thread.  :smile:

 

Q) What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

 

A) Aye matey.........!

 

..............................................................................................................................

 

 

Two Cows are standing in a field.

 

Cow 1) Did you hear about the outbreak of Mad Cow Disease?

 

Cow 2) Good thing I'm a helicopter.

 

................................................................................................................................

 

I remember the last thing Grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.

 

He said "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

[flyultimate 13]

Being a bit Irish, I love Bar Jokes:

 

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

 

Hey, it COULD happen!

[BillCusick 75]

I still howl at this one....

 

Found an interesting news item the other day regarding electronic communications...

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years earlier than the British".

One week later, the Department of Agriculture in Ireland reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet near Ballyhaunis, Co Mayo, Mick O’Connor, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely 'nothing at all'. (Sorry - I cannot repeat the actual phrase he used) Mick has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless".

 

Regards, and Christmas greetings to all

Bill

[flyultimate 13]

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.

 

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat.

 

F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

 

D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."

 

Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

 

Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

 

E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

 

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.    :Whistle:

[n4gix 4,949]

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.    :Whistle:

Now that is funny! I used to C#, now I just Bb.

[Dave Morgan 68]

I've decided to open a gym for the new year. It'll be full of exercise equipment for the first fortnight then it will turn into a pub.

[flyultimate 13]

Now that is funny! I used to C#, now I just Bb.

 

Good One, Fr. Bill!      

[Dave Morgan 68]

First geek: 'What's your new year's resolution?'

 

Second geek:'1024 by 768'

 

 

(I honestly hadn't heard that seasonal oldie before this afternoon.)

[Christopher Low 5,376]

I hadn't heard that one until I saw your post!

[n4gix 4,949]

I still haven't heard it; read it by all means though! 

[jmdriskell 178]

Twenty minutes later, I picked myself up off the floor.  My wife wondered why I was having problems.  I told her that I was reading all the complaints on the AVSIM forum!

[Poppet 710]

LOL,  very good indeed.  All gave me a good laugh

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.............

[Ron Attwood 3,473]

What is really annonying about this thread is the title. For God's sake woman, it's spelt 'annonnyoning' :dry:

 

Could a moderator please correct it?

[flyultimate 13]

Meal Time:

 

A passenger was lucky enough to be on an extended flight that offered meals.

 

The Flight Attendant approached him and asked him if he would like dinner.

 

"What are my choices?" the passenger asked.

 

Without missing a beat, the Flight Attendant replied "Yes or No."

 

 

Luggage:

 

A passenger arrived at the luggage scales with 3 bags. One square suitcase and two round bags.

 

He informed the luggage check-in attendant "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the square suitcase to go to Denver and the two round bags to go to Seattle."

 

The luggage check-in attendant replied "I'm sorry Sir, but we can't do that."

 

"Why not!" the passenger asked. "You did it the last time!"

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!