I know that controllers sometimes chat with other controllers. Back when KMDW tower used to be operated by one controller during the graveyard shift, some of the controllers at KORD would play jokes on the guy at KMDW. In the book "Secrets From the Tower" by Bob Richards, a retired KORD controller, he said that they would tune in to the KMDW frequency when they knew that the MDW controller was probably dozing off to sleep. Once on the frequency, they would keep calling in asking for a radio check until finally, the MDW controller flipped. I highly recommend reading the book. It has a lot of great stories that will make you laugh about conversations between pilots and controllers.

Rugby results in Dublin...

 

 

Was that video shot with a potato? haha.

I stumbled on these ATC funnies recently on a portuguese sports forum and want to share them with you (I had to translate some from portuguese):

 

During an instruction flight in Cascais (LPCS):

TWR: CS-### proceed direct Cascais Bay.

CS-###: Proceding direct Cascais Gay

Heard on Lisboa Information:

ATC: CS-### descend to 2000 feet direct Evora, report field in sight.

CS-###: Descending to 2000 feet, direct Evora, will report with field in sight.

(10 minutes later, the aircraft is above the airfield but still no report)

ATC: CS-### confirm field in sight?

CS-###: Negative.

ATC: Look down under you!!

CS-###: Afirmative!

 

ATC: PortugalxxxX, vacate via S1 to Stand A16.

PortugalXXX: Via s1 to A16, PortugalXXXX.

ATC1: Like I was saying, the broad looks a bit out of date but I've been doing her and she still got the moves.

ATC2: But who?

ATC1: Xxxx from operations.

ATC2: You don't say! Didn't know...

ATC1: Look, the spanish one over there.

ATC: OK. SkyjetXXXX wind from xxxxº yyyy knots, cleared for line up and take-off rwy 03. After departure approach on 119.10!

ATC: Skyjet?

ATC1: Look at that spanish son of a I TRIED TO USE A PROFANITY HERE - AREN'T I STUPID!, he's leaving without a reply!

(no wonder, with the frequency blocked by tower)

ATC2: Right...

 

Heard on 118.2: - Dear crew this is your capt. speaking. We are a little late and lost the slot...(1/2 more minutes of cabin talk ensues)

Finally the pilot stops talking and clears the frequency. Tower then says:

TWR: -XPT123 you have been transmiting on 118,2.

XPT123: -###### I'll have to say it all again!

 

Heard on Lisbon (LPPT) tower frequency on Christmas eve 2005. Aircraft involved may have been a PGA (Portugalia)

Acft: Lisbon Tower, good afternoon. PGAxxx established ILS rwy03

Twr: PGAxxx, good afternoon. Winds xxx with xx, continue approach.

PGAxxx: PGAxxx, roger. Continuing approach.

PGA continues approach... lands... clears the runway... and seconds later the tower speaks:

Twr: Hey PGAxxx... did I give you the clear to land ??

Acft: No ... but we looked down, we saw the runway was clear... and landed. We are now clearing via S1...

Twr: I knew I had forgotten something... PGAxxx, contact Ground em 121.75. Merry Christmas.

 

"Hey Lisboa information, could you find us some little vector that will get me home?"

"Hey Cs-***, so and what's your home address?"

 

LPPT (Lisboa), some 15 years ago:

Twr: Delta (ou TWA, don't recall), proceed holding point 03, via x, y, z...

Delta: Could you say again?

Twr: Delta xx, proceed holding point 03, etc, etc.

Delta: I'm really sorry, could you say that again?

Twr (in a bored tone): Proceed holding point 03 via... (all of it again)

Delta: Ok, copied all. Thank you m'am.

Twr (really upset): I'm not a man, I'm a woman!!!

 

On Cascais Tower frequency:

CS-###, Cascais, clear to land runway 35 wind ###/##

Cascais, rgr clr to land rwy 35.

(another speaker comes up)

-Looks its ####, is everything ok, buddy?

-Hey its ####, everything's fine!

-When are you coming down there for some lunch? ?

-Hey buddy, let me land first!

 

After several failed atempts to transmit:

Alfa: Bravo do you read now?

Bravo: Read you Alfa 5/5.

Alfa: Oh man, I had inserted my jack on the passenger's slot, that's why I couldn't talk.

Bravo: Right, that happens to me also at home, sometimes I insert the jack on the wrong slot and the wife stops talking too...!

 

A beautiful sunny spring afternoon in 1995.

Lisboa App: Hey CS-xxx, could you confirm what area are you overflying now?

(Reply comes in a "Ok, I'm the best pilot in the world flying with my beautiful broad" tone)

CS-xxx: Like its usual at this time of day, I am flying over xxx, enjoying such a beautiful spring afternoon, looking at nature and waiting for the sun to set so that my passenger next to me can witness such a beautiful and marvelous show...

(With irony)Lis App: Look CS-xxx, then, for your information and your company's/girlfriend's, I suggest you make an imediate turn to xxx, because, as usual, at this time of day, you'll be crossing a notam area, with live ammunition firing, and if you won't, I am sure you'll be watching an even more interesting, and luminous, show than the sun setting.

CS-xxx: Of course Lisboa, right away. My apologies.

 

Heard on Ponta Delgada, Azores Islands:

LPPD_APP: RZO123 contact Santa Maria 132.15. Good night and merry christmas.

RZO123 : 132.15. So, where will you be spending christmas?

LPPD_APP: I'll be spending christmas in the continent (Portugal mainland).

RZO123 : You'll be travelling in our company, I hope!

LPPD_APP: No! I'll be in my son's company...

(...) silence (...)

RZO123 : 132.15, merry christmas.

 

Pilot: 'Good morning, Bratislava.'

Tower: 'Good morning. Please note: This is Vienna.'

Pilot: 'I am now on landing approach to Bratislava.'

Tower: 'This really is Vienna.'

Pilot: 'Vienna?'

Tower: 'Yes.'

Pilot: 'But why? We wanted to go to Bratislava.'

Tower: 'Okay. Then abort your landing approach and turn left.'

 

Tower: 'Height and position?'

Pilot: 'I am 1.80 m and I'm sitting in the front on the left side."

 

Oporto...soccer match in the afternoon...world championship 2006...Portugal x Iran...

Torre: Portugal XXX cleared to land runway 35

Acft: Cleared to land runway 35...by the way...what's the score?

Torre: 2-0, Ronaldo scored by penalty

Acft: thank you, it's so that I can pass onto the passengers.

At the end of the game, and even though no airplane was being monitored, we heard:

Tower: to whom it may interest, 3-0.

 

Lisboa, a few years ago. Iberia on final:

Iberia: excuse me madam, but is that the Salazar bridge?

Torre: (silence)...no sir...that is the vinte cinco de abril bridge (25th of April bridge)

Iberia: ok...its been a while since I landed in Lisboa.

(the bridge's name was changed from Salazar's bridge to 25 de Abril in 1974)

 

"Euro 2004, the day of Portugal-Holland soccer match, I did the Amsterdam flight that morning and when we arrived they gave us runway 18R (the one that requires a 20 minute long taxi, about 6 km to reach the ramp). Still on downwind I asked if 18C was available, as other aircraft were being vectored to it, and the answer was "negative". Some 10 seconds later we heard:

"Ok, Air Portugal XXX, you are cleared for rwy18C, this time you were lucky, but TONIGHT you won't be....."

Generalized laugh in the frequency (and fortunately, he was wrong...)"

 

Heard on LPPT 118.1

Tower:Lufthansa Four sex...SIX.... (no idea what the controller was thinking about)

I've been out of active duty controlling for an actual lifetime now, but back when I was active duty, yes, ATC is supposed to use the proper 7110.65 phraseology. However, there is, or was, a few paragraphs spread about in the "bible" that basically states use ANY english if you need to explain more clearly. Gives the controller back his own mind and thinking to use the proper words he/she needs.

 

As for being chatty, you are all correct, the controller knows the overall picture, and if it's slow, and as long as they are comfortable with being on tape, talk away. :) Personally I never got too chatty on freq, ever. But I was always nice about it if the pilot asked and I was not too busy. :)

A few hundred feet into the air after takeoff at a Dallas airport (KRBD), I noticed a large hawk carrying a snake and advised the tower of the bird. His response,"Roger, flight of two observed." I'll never forget the amount of chatter on the night many years ago that the old TV series "Dallas" was to reveal who shot J.R.. Often hear updates on major sports events as well.

A few hundred feet into the air after takeoff at a Dallas airport (KRBD), I noticed a large hawk carrying a snake and advised the tower of the bird. His response,"Roger, flight of two observed." I'll never forget the amount of chatter on the night many years ago that the old TV series "Dallas" was to reveal who shot J.R.. Often hear updates on major sports events as well.

 

Downscc, the Dallas series was in Portugal too and I remember in school, if one wanted to be cool in my class he or she would say "it was I who shot JR" :). The hype around who shot JR is legend here too, so it's funny to know that it was in the air waves too. Regards!

Cessna 152: Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred

ATC: Roger, contact Houston Space Center

 

Well, that's hilarious!..

 

This is a classic :)

 

I tought this is happening only on IVAO..

Well, Schiphol (EHAM) is also quite known for its funny ATC:

 

This one is a classis, the ATC'er in this video recently retired and he was somebody you would recognize quite easily.

This guy will always be connected with EHAM due to his voice:

 

 

The next one is only for people who speak Dutch, sorry folks :)

Well, Schiphol (EHAM) is also quite known for its funny ATC:

 

This one is a classis, the ATC'er in this video recently retired and he was somebody you would recognize quite easily.

This guy will always be connected with EHAM due to his voice:

 

 

The next one is only for people who speak Dutch, sorry folks :)

 

Lovely Schiphol bit, thanks for sharing. If this controller was always like that he's trully memorable. Recognized the portuguese pilots by their voices too...

A friend took us night flying in a cessna one evening here in Auckland out of Ardmore NZAR and we decided on the way back to drop into Auckland NZAA - New Zealand's major airport - for a coffee. It was quite late and in a loooong window with nothing happening and we could see the airport off to the right so figured we could just get a visual clearance. Ahh, no. ATC cleared us direct to an intersection then a particular approach.

 

After muttering briefly about smartypants controllers who do this sort of thing just for a laugh our pilot had to reply that we were a VFR flight with no charts and hence no idea where the intersection or the approach were.

 

There was a long pause, then ATC asked if we could see the airport. Yes we said, we could see the airport. There was another long pause then ATC clicked the channel open, gave a deep sigh, and said "just land".

 

:)

I was on the flight deck of a VC10 going into Dulles many years ago, we were just about to leave the Centre to go to the final controller when a guy on another aircraft gave his amex number over the radio and asked the controller to pass it to his wife as he had forgotten to leave it when he left that morning, he also passed her telephone number. There were al lot of calls from many crews along the lines of 'Don't worry we will look after her and thanks for the meal' many can't be printed here. I also worked with a controller who in a very British accent when handing off traffic would end the transmission with 'Cheerio' rather than have a nice day. As a controller with over 20 years experience at Terminal and Centres I have heard some very strange transmissions, I will miss it when I retire in the coming months.

Loving the amount of Potomac TRACON and IAD stories in here!

 

A few weeks ago (1.April), I was flying around west of IAD and I tend to at least tune Potomac's frequency for the area I'm in (the upside to my ATC excursion is I know the sectors and their frequencies for wherever I am). Unfortunately, I'd tuned it into COM1 and when I announced to what I thought was Winchester (OKV) CTAF, I actually announced it to Potomac. He was pretty confused, so I took a jab at myself for it and finished with "hey, April Fools, right?" Humoring me, he replied "hah, yeah! You got me good there!"

 

The whole flight is detailed here with some videos from my Contour GPS, if you're interested:

http://kpilot13.blogspot.com/2012/04/cloudy-sendoff.html

I was departing out of Austin (KAUS) one afternoon in a King Air 200 and on with the Departure controller. Proceeded with the following:

 

ATC:

<King Air N1234, you have traffic at your 10 o'clock, eastbound, a Continental 737. Report the traffic in sight.>

 

Me:

<King Air N1234 has the cattle car in sight.>

 

<Silence over the radio.>

 

...A few seconds later....

 

ATC:

<Roger that, King Air N1234. I was giving him the opportunity for a rebuttal of reporting the shrimp-tail (us) in sight. Climb and maintain.....>

 

Was pretty funny to me. I'd never heard the King Air referred to as a 'shrimp-tail' before, but now that I think about it it makes perfect sense. If you want to hear chatty ATC, JFK Ground is usually pretty entertaining.

least we forget the great swarm (cant think of a better word lol) of turtles at JFK.

 

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAWp17yLnTE

Just listened to this one, better than the old radio show I think (busy JKF ground looses the picture):