My aging father is back in the hospital, but he has been before he's like the come back kid. My oldest brother that lives in Detroit after a gig, tripped over his guiltar and in his attempt to try to save that guitar crashed down and gave himself a concussion… He went home and went to bed, and two days later family checks in, yep brain bleed, two weeks after that night still brain bleed, not looking good…

This is a situation where father and first born son are in hospital and no one is sharing to each other the situation between to not compromise each recovery…

Anyhow I’ve been on here for a very long time but never shared like this before, all things considered you are family too, share whatever you like we are all human the world over, every post counts

I clearly understand your situation, but it will go away and better times will come.

The best advice if I can give you any, is to leave out from the internet and go walk, do some exercise, be with your own family, stay away from the cell phone and look for a hug with a good friend, have a cup of coffee or a few drinks with him, there's no substitute to human contact and a close look to real eyes.

Oh, man, I cannot imagine.  Take care of family first, we will still be here.

Best Wishes to you, your dad and brother, Matthew. That is a tough situation to deal with. You are right when you say that other members of the flight simulation community are like family. We may all have different opinions about flight simulation (and everything else for that matter), but in times of need, we are all here to provide whatever emotional support we can 👍

Keep positive and know that your family is in our prayers. Know also that you are loved and we are here for you if you need us.

Hook

4 hours ago, Matthew Kane said:

Anyhow I’ve been on here for a very long time but never shared like this before, all things considered you are family too, share whatever you like we are all human the world over, every post counts

 

In the forum or via PM..... we are hear, my Kiwi/ Canadian/ possibly interdimensional, buddy. 

You and your family are in my prayers.  We are all brothers and sisters on this big blue marble, especially in times of need or despair.  The brain is an amazing organ, give it time and sometimes miracles happen.

I went through a situation like this a few years ago. In fact over my 75 years I've faced several tough family situations. Believe when I say times will get better and what you are experiencing will calm down. One of life's lessons. All the best to you and your family.

 

Sincerely,

 

Bill W. 

Hang in there Mathew.  I've lost two wives, a son, a daughter and my little brother.  In addition to being strong for them, be strong to yourself.  I know these sorts of times can make you feel lonely, but you are not alone if you reach out.  Think about what your father and brother would want you to do.  You will find the strength to get through this whatever the outcome might be.  Hopefully a bit of that strength will come from here. 

Noel

I wish your family members a speedy recovery.

I think that a lot of folks feel lonely like you said.  It's not easy to meet other good people and make friends, then there's the problem of who you can trust. 

I'm also noticing that people, including myself to be fair, are generally more aloof and distrustful post-Covid.  Maybe this is just my impression and I'm mistaken.

We're lucky to have a forum like this where we can all chit chat and share our thoughts.

Take care.

Dave

Matthew,

I was actually getting ready to sign off from Avsim for good last night after lord knows how many years on this site.  Like you this has been an outlet for me and I have come to know some great individuals on this site but lately it just seems to bring more negative energy to my day than positive.  Then I saw your post...

It helped me remember we are all humans dealing with our own daily challenges and struggles and the only thing we can try to do is show a little compassion.  I can't  imagine what you are going through are the feelings it must bring with it but as so many others have said, a PM or a post will always bring support and camaraderie.  

I wish you, your family, everyone who cares about them and loves them nothing but the best and will keep my fingers crossed for a positive outcome.  I am proof that modern medicine can do incredible things, unfortunately, it can't fix stupid so I still have that to deal with...  One thing I have really come to understand is you never know what someone else is struggling with during your encounter so a little kindness can sometimes go an immense distance.

 

Here is a "quick" synopsis of my last 7 years and some of the things I've struggled with while I've been here...

Two Lumbar fusions L3-S1

Cervical fusion C3-C7

4 emergency hernia corrections post op

Met who I thought was the "one" for me and got married during Covid.

Wife ran off to Hawaii at 5 am and left me in one of the most traumatic things I've ever experienced in my life that truly left me shattered.  I remember sitting on my couch in the middle of the night with my hands around my knees not knowing how I would go on but somehow I did and so did the rest of the world around me. 

Then I had to have an SI Joint fusion this past  October because of my fake hip and psoas release but unfortunately I developed an infection and then GI blockage which left me almost dead in November

Worked on PT every morning for 60-90 minutes to get back in the race car for this season from November until March 29th when I proceeded to stand on a chair to fix something outside.

Hence my comment about you can't fix stupid because that resulted in 2 fractured ribs, dislocated ribs, torn rib cartilage, fractured wrist, fractured hand, and currently in a cast up to my elbow.

And at the end of the day it could always be worse and I am sure there are people going through things like yourself who would give anything to have my problems.  Perspective is everything.

 

So now I sit around contemplating my stupidity but I have also come to learn we are incredibly resilient but I have SO SO SO much respect for you for putting your feelings out there and letting people know you need a bit of support.  That takes an INCREDIBLY strong person, incredibly strong...   It's something I am not good at myself, it takes someone very strong to put their hand up...

As I said, just a PM or a post and you have "family" here.

All of my thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family Matthew. Thought and best wishes for speedy recoveries and sending nothing but positivity your way.
Thank you for your post.  

Edited May 3, 20251 yr by psolk

@Matthew Kane By sharing your need with us I think you have ministered to the rest of us by stripping away our shell of pride and reminding us of all our vulnerabilities and insecurities in this life.  Seems we learn of our strength in times of weakness. Best to you my friend.

Matthew,

I'm so sorry to hear about your father's and brother's health crises.  I don't know where your father resides (Canada?), but I imagine being halfway around the world from your brother just heightens the helpless feelings of dealing with this.  I send you nothing but positive vibes to deal with this situation.  I've had to deal with similar issues 20-25 years ago with my mother, who had a stroke, heart attack and Alzheimer's while dealing with my own issues having ME/CFS at the same time (long story short, it feels like having a permanent flu similar to Long Covid, I've had it for the past 29 years).  I remember how I felt when they told me she had Alzheimer's, and the nurse gave me some pamphlets about it ("oh great, how am I going to get through this?").  But I did.  I never could shake the feeling that I was just "winging it", improvising, thinking "why didn't they teach us in school how to handle this?"

So please feel free to lean on all of us here on the forum, we care about you.  I know from your posts that you are really a good guy and feel like a friend.

I offer you some useful words of coping from Basil Fawlty that I find helpful when I'm overwhelmed.  WARNING: Those of you who are sensitive or easily offended, don't click on the hidden content.

Spoiler

 

 

Thanks for the comments everyone this means a lot, also a reminder to anyone that gets a head injury get help ASAP, do not sleep it off, people do that far too often, and also do not take ibuprofen or blood thinners it actually makes it worst, so much is avoidable.

I also found out he fell twice, the first fall trying to save the guitar wasn't so bad, it was when he got up he fell backwards and hit the back of his head which was what caused the most damage. Also a reminder of what not to do. Head injuries are not to be taken lightly ever.

Be safe everyone 

3 hours ago, Matthew Kane said:

also a reminder to anyone that gets a head injury get help ASAP

 

Yep, excellent advice.

When my daughter was little she tripped and headbutted the door step. There was actually a groove where the impact was.

Straight to hospital for an Xray.