So last week I had responded to Matthew's post about feeling lonely, the importance of asking for help and the larger impact outside of flightsim that Avsim has had for some of us myself imparticular.   Sometimes this place is literaly an outlet for some of us which makes some of the bickering and petty arguing so frustrating.  

To recap, my last 7 years have been an extreme challenge and every time I think I may be turning a corner I seem to have the rug pulled out from under me.  Some people here know about my fall a few weeks ago which left me with a fractured wrist and hand, displaced rib fractures and torn rib cartilage.

Here is a "quick" synopsis of my last 7 years and some of the things I've struggled with while I've been here before I get to "this incident" 

 

Two Lumbar fusions L3-S1

Cervical fusion C3-C7

4 emergency hernia corrections post op

Met who I thought was the "one" for me and got married during Covid.

Wife ran off to Hawaii at 5 am and left me in one of the most traumatic things I've ever experienced in my life that truly left me shattered.  I remember sitting on my couch in the middle of the night with my hands around my knees not knowing how I would go on but somehow I did and so did the rest of the world around me. 

Then I had to have an SI Joint fusion this past October because of my fake hip and psoas release but unfortunately I developed an infection and then GI blockage which left me almost dead and hospitalized for a week and a half in November

Worked on PT every morning for 60-90 minutes to get back in the race car for this season from November until March 29th when I proceeded to stand on a chair to fix something outside.

Hence my comment about you can't fix stupid because that resulted in 2 fractured ribs, dislocated ribs, torn rib cartilage, fractured wrist, fractured hand, and currently in a cast up to my elbow.

And at the end of the day it could always be worse and I am sure there are people going through things like yourself who would give anything to have my problems.  Perspective is everything...

 

Bringing us to now:

So the past few weeks I have had pain under my right rib cage.  Pain for me is relative as a good day is a 4 on a 1-10 pain scale. Days of it becoming a 6 are common but when it gets to 7-8 pain levels even I take notice.  Being I had multiple fractures and torn rib cartilage on the left side I thought maybe it was just pain from overcompensating, or referred pain or even just gas LOL!  Last Sunday was really bad but I tried to sleep it off which was hopeless so Monday am I went to a walk in clinic as I truly have a bit of PTSD about going into a hospital after everything I have been through.  Sure enough the clinic physician walks in and says we need to send you to hospital after getting my blood/urine samples.  

So off to the ER I go where they tell me it's kidney stones that need to be broken up and not a big deal.  I questioned the pain under the ribs and she blew me of and said it was referred pain, she couldn't understand why i was in so much pain there, she had no explanation and I should go home.  The ultrasound showed no gall stones, no inflammation, I was "fine."

So I started to get dressed when ANOTHER Dr came in and asked if they could take a look.  Within minutes I was admitted as he said there are other conditions that may only show up with more detailed testing.  Tuesday afternoon they sent my for a Hyliscan to test if the gallbladder is functioning correctly.  Anything under 35% compression of the gallbladder is considered a fail.  I was at 0%  Literally my gallbladder was dead and not functioning.  

We got the test results 9am Wed am and by 1pm Wed I was in surgery.  

Spent Thursday in hospital and got discharged Friday mid day.  

 

So now I am home and starting from square 1 all over again.  5 days in a hospital bed plus anesthesia and surgery takes a real toll on someone mentally and physically.  I've got 5 laparoscopic incisions including one right under the torn rib cartilage but still also have a cast on my hand/wrist and the broken ribs on the other side.  Needless to say I feel like I've been hit by a truck and then flung into a bus coming in the opposite direction which then backed up over me after it hit me... 

 

Every time I get back to even 50% it seems there is another challenge waiting for me.  They say you aren't given more than you can handle so my only hope in this is that maybe just maybe what is being piled on my shoulders is taking something off someone else's. 

It could always be worse and this too shall pass and I know despite all of this there are STILL people all over the world who would give ANYTHING to have my problems.  I know how fortunate I am despite my challenges.

So here we go again because as long as I always get up one more time than I am knocked down and keep moving forward there is nothing that can beat me...  

I WILL be back on track this year, literally and figuratively. 

This doesn't define me, how I respond to it is what defines me but the truth is right now I am beat down, drained, sore and exhausted...  It could alway be worse but that doesn't mean this doesn't suck!

Thanks for reading friends.  

-Paul

 

Edited May 11, 20251 yr by psolk

Wow, I really hope that this is the turning point for you, Paul. You seem to have hit a meteor storm of obstacles over the past few years!

With respect to your gall bladder, I can imagine how much pain you must have been in. Last year I had to take my dad into hospital just after midnight because he was getting serious pain in that area of his body. It turned out to be an infected gall bladder. I was at A&E in the hospital with him for nearly six hours, and it is no fun seeing someone you love in so much pain. It seemed to take forever before he was given pain killers that actually started doing their job properly!! He was in hospital for a few days until they got the infection under control, and then he returned a short time later in the year to have the gall bladder removed.

Good grief, all the best to you Paul, you’ve been through a lot but your obviously a fighter , keep going forward old chap.👍

Wow this is a lot of chronic pain to manage, from your post you can tell you have had a good medical team being proactive with you which is half the battle. When you are going through $HT just keep going, a positive outlook is the best medicine.

Wishing you the best through this I appreciate your positive outlook, and yes its well worth the fight

Be well my friend 

Paul - sometimes you just have to say WTF and laugh it off. I mean that respectfully - your get back up attitude is positive and IMHO is what keeps you going. I've had a few things go wrong in my life too and my attitude has always been to take it one day at a time and, if I am still breathing, that's a positive day!

That has gotten me through for over 88 years and I know it will do the same for you.

I live by myself with 3 cats and although I am occasionally lonesome, I am never lonely.

You've got it covered!

Paul  - So sorry to hear about your pain and your suffering. Your stubborn sense of optimism and grit is inspiring. I am sure that many of us including me, are wishing you the best and hoping and praying for your easement from the pain and a full recovery. Keep your chin up mate…

Ray

Wow!, you're quite strong. Keep going and hope a quick recovery... life continues...

Jeeeeeeeeeez!  As a physical therapist, you've made your PT rich😉 I'm really thinking each and every one of us should send you a lucky rabbit's foot (artificial of course) and maybe a four leafed clover, or any other lucky artifact.  The Albert King song "Born Under a Bad Sign" comes to mind, the Clapton cover.  You're in my prayers Paul.  Get better and back in that race car😀

I had pain about 5 years ago in my stomach area, that was a result of an inflamed gull bladder and gull bladder stones. During the ultra-sound scan, it was also discovered, I had an 8cm tumour that I had no idea I had.   Gone through the surgery to remove the cancer and my gull bladder,  Cemo, etc, etc.   If it wasn't for my gull bladder flair up and diagnosis, my cancer discovery may have been too late. Although I continue to have regular tests and scans,  I have been cancer free now for 5 years.

The moral of my story is: I really think that having a positive attitude is half the battle, and remaining in good spirits will help with the pain and recovery. Take one day at a time and every day is a victory.

You can do this. Hang in there Paul. 

Seems your attitude in the face of adversity is one of a survivor!

Best of luck to you going forward.

When I hear stories like this, I can only hope I fare half as well when facing such challenge's

Ouch. Get well soon - and stop climbing on chairs!

On 5/11/2025 at 8:50 AM, psolk said:

So here we go again because as long as I always get up one more time than I am knocked down and keep moving forward there is nothing that can beat me...  

 Wow Paul! What you've been through makes my ordeal last year sound like not much of a challenge. I thought four hospitalizations in just over six months was bad...

Twice in a row for congested lungs, third visit for bleeding ulcers, and finally removal of an infected gall bladder. Since then my oxygen saturation is fairly constant 97%, and BP and heart rate normal. 

I'll keep you in my evening prayers my friend.

@n4gix, @FPVSteve, @HiFlyer, @rickjake, @edpatino, @rayharris108, @vgbaron, @jon b, @Matthew Kane, @Christopher Low

Bill, Steve, Devon, Rick, Tom, Ed, Ray, Vic, Mathew, Jon, Christopher,

Thank you!!!  Apologies for the delayed response, been trying to get my feet back under me again and get back to work as I feel up to it. Trying to balance not overdoing it with keeping myself up, moving and motivated... 

I really appreciate every one of you that took the time to respond.  I'm human, I definitely have my moments where things feel overwhelming and emotions take over but I've come to lear that's ok...  It's ok to be mad, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated and to allow yourself to feel those emotions to process what's going on but what's not ok is wallowing in them or letting the emotions dictate my outlook.  

I've come to learn that self awareness and understanding what I am feeling  and why I'm feeling it allows me to process things and then rationalize my way out.

It's not the good times in life that determine your overall quality of life, it's how you handle the bad... 

 

@Matthew Kane I hope your brother and father are improving, thoughts and best wishes are still with you and the family!

@Fr. Bill 4 hospitalizations in 6 months IS bad!  That is a tremendous amount for anyone to endure.  Everyone is battling their own challenges and all of those challenges have their own merit, I've found great empathy for others in understanding that...   No one else's battles are minimized because of what I am going through!  Hoping that you continue on the road to recovery!!  Did you have a difficult time digesting after the gallbladder removal?  I am really struggling with digestion, heartburn and pooping like a hippo LOL!!!

@Steve, no more chairs for me.  Anything above my tippy toes is too high for me at this point! 😉

Devon, there are so many things I don't think I would be able to handle but it's amazing how you respond when you don't see an alternative.  Ironically, I think my attitude now is a direct result of everything I have been through and the lessons learned.  I always say if given the opportunity to go back and erase all of my challenges and suffering but subsequently erase everything I have learned as a result and revert to the same person I was 30 years ago or keep things as is and keep the lessons it would be the latter all day long.  So much of who I am and what I learned came from adversity.

"Experience is the hardest teacher, first comes the exam and then the lesson"

@Rick, WOW!!!  You are so fortunate that you had gall stones!!!  It is amazing the way the universe works some time.  I can't imagine what you have been through but so glad that they caught it and wishing you nothing but continued good health!

@Tom, my PT is a life saver!!!  I am in NJ as well and use someone in Eatontown that has a Neubie device.  I have been in PT for 3 years almost continuously at this point but the results are evident.  Despite everything I have an almost completely normal gait and that is with horrible neuropathy and numbness in my left leg and foot.  I honestly don't know where I would be without my PT.  My goal is absolutely to be back in the race car despite everything.  I am a firm believer that your mindset has such a big impact on recovery.    I travel with a theragun at this point LOL.  Thank you Tom! 

Thank you Ray!

Vic, If I didn't laugh about it and find the positive I would be an utterly miserable bloke!!  My two pups keep me from EVER feeling lonely, even when I want to LOL!!!  We are truly a pack in this house and not many people can understand this but I felt more alone and lonely in my marriage than I do by myself...  I would rather be alone than lonely...   Thank you Vic!

Thank you Jon!  Hope all is well with you.

Christopher, glad your dad got it taken care of!!  Yes, i tend to have a high threshold for pain and this was excruciating.  Didn't stop me from driving myself to the clinic and then the hospital but the pain was pretty excruciating.  I think it's harder for the people who have to watch and support sometimes.  Sadly my mum and sister both live in Florida and I am still in NJ so had to take this on alone but actually prefer that sometimes to making people go through all of this with me!!

 

Thank you again everyone!!  It means a tremendous amount to me that you all took the time to wish me well.  Thank you.  

Be well everyone!

Paul

 

 

 

Late to this thread, but wishing you all the Best!

Keep in that positive mode against the adversities and you'll get through it !!!

I’m sorry, but I’ve just got to ask…do you have any problems with insurance?  With your record, I wonder if you’ve made it onto some secret insurance industry blacklist 🤔?